Tag Archives: spiders

Five for Friday

Posted on September 7, 2012 | 12 Comments

A few things that have been going on this week.

1.

I got in my car the other day, looked at my window, and that is what I saw. It was on the outside of the window, which was how I was able to stop myself from having a panic attack and take this picture. But that also means there was a big chance of it flinging onto me when I opened my car door.

So if you think I am overreacting about the spiders in my parking garage, you are mistaken. They are after me. I am no longer parking on the third floor. S’laters spiders. I’m out.

2. I had my first book club meeting, and I’m pretty sure I’m in love. I felt bad for not finishing the book (and that is saying something, because I don’t think I’ve ever not finished a book I started reading), until I got to the meeting and discovered that no one had actually finished the book. And one girl hadn’t even started it.

So we talked about how much the book sucked for 1o minutes and why we couldn’t finish it, and then we ate for two hours.

I think I am going to really, really like book club. It may be my favourite club of all time. I also think it should just be called the eating club.

3. I’m back in my old work building this week because of my new contract, and I was already reminded of how fun it is in there.

ParaSport Ontario, who is in my building, is demonstrating Paralympic games in the lobby this week, and we get to participate! That was wheelchair tennis. And today they are doing Goalball, a sport for blind athletes. I’m hoping that being blindfolded will heighten my other senses and I will be awesome at it.

Speaking of the Paralympics, I have really been enjoying watching it, but it’s really bothering me that they are not being broadcast at all. It’s a hassle to stream them online, and I assume there is enough interest to have them on a major network and I don’t understand why they are not. I don’t want to rave on about this, I’ll save that for my letter to CTV. But it irks me and I don’t like the message it sends.

4. I visited my Nana earlier this week and she is doing much, much better! She is up and around again, and back to joining in on the activities.

I also now know why she is so busy.

That was her calendar for August. It’s jam-packed!

Also, foot soaks, hand massages, happy hour, bingo, “me time”, manicures, and reading group? I kind of want to live in her nursing home.

5. My friends and I have a date with our high school music and history teacher Mr. B and his wife Jan on Saturday.

That is all of us the last time we went out.

Mr. B was our favourite, so we still keep in touch. He had a picture of us on his desk for years after we graduated (which Jan has told us is now on their nightstand). We were obviously his favourite class, because we were crazy. He said he liked our craziness because it was “good, clean fun.”

Like the time he took us on a school trip to Quebec City and we went to a French restaurant and proceeded to pretend fried frogs legs were mustaches.

Mr. B told us he had never had so much fun out for dinner on a school trip. Win. We were very mature. And we’d still do this now. We may do it on Saturday if Mr. B makes frogs legs for dinner (hint hint Mr. B).

I asked him if he wanted us to bring anything to dinner and he just said pictures and memorabilia, so I have been going through my old photo albums from high school and laughing hysterically. Saturday will be fun.

That’s it, but thank you so much for your comments yesterday! They gave me love bursts for you all. I know things will be A-okay, so not to worry. But reassurance is always nice.

Have a great weekend!

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Posted in Random Musings

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Labour Day Laziness

Posted on September 5, 2012 | 2 Comments

Good morning! I meant to post this up yesterday, but I was feeling all lazy pants after the weekend, and just not really in the writing mood. I’ve also been working on a cartoon post, so hopefully that will be good to go this week or early next.

My weekend was pretty lazy and simmered. Probably my most simmered weekend of the entire summer actually, and it was awesome.

Winnie was happy because she got in a lot of spooning time with me, but she also got shamed.

Like dog shaming, only with a kitty.

This better teach her a lesson for her annoying night time antics.

My friend and former coworker sent me this video after she read my post about Winnie’s shenanigans:

And yep, that about sums it up. Minus the baseball bat.

I spent the day on Sunday at my friend Sherrie’s house, lounging around poolside in the sunshine in her beautiful backyard, and it was just perfect. And then afterwards we met up with a bunch of her friends at a bar/pub in Ajax called Safari. Those girls were a fun time, but I only had a couple drinks and then pulled a Cinderella and was home by midnight.

I had also not eaten since 11am (besides a small ice cream cone at around 4pm, but that didn’t really hold me over), and my hunger monster almost made a huge dramatic appearance. I didn’t end up eating until 10pm, and 11 hours of no eating is no good for me. No good at all. While I was waiting for my food at the bar I could not concentrate on anything and felt like kicking anyone who talked to me. I was also a few minutes away from barging into the kitchen and punching the chef in the face for not having my order ready immediately. I do not do well with hunger.

But finally my food came and all was forgiven immediately when I saw the insane amount of fries that came with my chicken wrap. I shoved a handful in my face on the spot. Also, my chicken wrap may have been the best I have ever eaten. I did consider that I thought this only because I was so hungry that even brussels sprouts would have tasted like heaven, but I’m not sure that was the case. It was all warm and cheesy and melty, and everything I think a chicken wrap should be. I absolutely annihilated it. I didn’t even tell anyone else how good it was until I was finished eating it because I was scared they would ask for a bite and I was NOT sharing that deliciousness.

Also, I joined a book club with my office bestie Lexy, and my first meeting is tonight. Sadly, as of Monday I had only read about 10 pages of the book, so that was my big plan for the day. I sprawled out on my couch all ready to get my read on, and totally passed out within 10 minutes. And then I accidentally slept for three hours. Whoops. The book may not get finished…

We’re reading The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield, and honestly I’m having a hard time getting into it.

And I ran this weekend! Twice. BAM. 5k each time. I’ve been on a bit of a running hiatus lately, so this was very good for me. More on that later though.

In other news, I saw two horrifying sights yesterday.

Horrifying sight number one:

What is this? I know that Labour Day weekend is over and everything, but technically it’s still summer! Gloves are not needed until at LEAST November. This is absolute BS and I am not down.

It bothers me that I have to pre-shop for the seasons. I can still get away with wearing flip-flops and shorts until October, so I’d like to still be able to buy them!

Anyway, horrifying sight number two:

This giant spider sitting in the middle of its sickeningly perfect web was in my parking garage, very close to my car. Remember when that random spider appeared in my car? I’m going to assume it was this spider’s baby.

My parking garage has about 300 spaces, and only about 50 cars. So it’s basically empty, and for some reason I am on the third floor. The third floor has maybe two other cars parked on it besides mine. The first two floors are also more empty than full. Why do I have to be on the third floor with the spiders? I am going to talk to the people in my rental office about this ASAP, because I am not down with the spiders. No thank you. I am outta there.

And that’s it. So, exciting weekend up in here. Hope you guys are having a good short week!

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Posted in Kitty Cats, Random Musings

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Three Thing Tuesday

Posted on August 14, 2012 | 17 Comments

Goooooood morning!

Just a few things I would like to talk about today.

1. I heard from several sources that my video of the piggyback fail was shown on Good Morning America! I am not positive if it aired on Sunday or yesterday, as I was pretty sure that show was a weekday thing, but either way, I missed it. I don’t mind that it was on there, and actually I think it’s pretty hilarious, but I would like to see it just so I can hear what they said about it. Because judging by my search terms over the last couple of days, there was definitely mention of my underpantalonies. Most of the search terms leading here are something like “bridesmaid piggyback underwear,” so that is nice. Thank you for that. How about we concentrate on the fall and not the fact that I accidentally flashed everyone?

Also, without the back story, it looks like Woody just tackled me to the ground. I am so hugely unsuccessful with the piggyback that it is very unclear what is actually happening. Woody is one of the nicest guys I know, and I do not want anyone to think he is the type of person who would just randomly launch his heavy ass onto his bridesmaid’s back. It was absolutely premeditated. And it was also my idea.

So I am interested to know what people are saying about it.

Anyway, if you happened to catch it, please clue me in! Or if you have a link to the actual show, that would be fab as well.

Also, I would just like to say, the internet is crazy.

2. Yesterday while I was driving I noticed the hugest, dirtiest spider IN my car, right in front of me, on my dashboard.

It was not unlike this spider:

(source)

I HATE spiders (I have talked about this). Like you do not understand how much I hate them. I freeze when I see one. They are the one thing that make me immediately panic inside.

It was also white, which means to me that it has never seen the light of day, so I don’t know how long it was hiding out in my car just waiting to get me.

So I instantly froze and just stared at it for several minutes saying “oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” while trying to concentrate on driving and not hit the car in front of me (I actually caused my mom to get into an accident once when I was little when a spider dropped from the sun visor into my lap and I nearly had a panic attack).

I also have a really big problem with killing spiders. I just prefer not to do that (because I am afraid, not because I value their life). But I couldn’t just leave it there to kill me.

Sooo I found a napkin, bucked up, and squished it repeatedly, while yelling “ahhhhhhhh!” and trying to hold it away from my body. But then I had the problem of having the napkin in my car. I wanted to just chuck it out the window, but I couldn’t bring myself to litter. So I kind of just propped it up on my dashboard so I could keep an eye on it to make sure the stupid spider wasn’t going to have a second life and crawl his creepy eight-legged self back out of it.

And now I am terrified of driving because I keep thinking he was living in my car for quite some time and probably had babies in there. It is not fun. Not fun at all.

3. I have been having some serious problems sleeping this week, and that is really rare for me because I usually fall asleep immediately and wake up to my alarm. Insomnia, or waking up in the night, is not something I have ever struggled with.

A lot of very weird things have been happening over the past week or so, mainly revolving around that video, and I am not sure how to handle this attention. I feel very excited, but also like it’s difficult to concentrate on anything. My brain will just not shut up. My life already does not feel like my same life I had six months ago, so anything added on top of that is just too much. I mean, it’s good, and I am truly excited to see how this plays out, but it just feels unfamiliar and different. And it needs to stop affecting my sleep. Because I NEED my eight hours.

So now I have discovered that I may actually have three moods. Happy, hungry, and exhausted.

And my exhausted face is basically the same as my hunger face, only without the drool. And with squintier eyes.

And well, that’s all I got. I gotta save my energy for work. Have a great day!

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Posted in Cartoons, Random Musings

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Spiders = Blech.

Posted on April 23, 2012 | 60 Comments

So I have to say, there are not a lot of things that really, truly scare me.

I’m cool with heights, and I’ll probably go skydiving or bungee jumping at some point in my life. I’m good with flying, and actually I love flying as it gives me hours of uninterrupted reading time. I like the dark. I like snakes. I adore frogs and fish. I’m a huge fan of lions, and would love to snuggle with one if I ever get a chance. Bears are okay (just play dead), and I think I could take a shark (just play dead?). Scary movies do scare me (I have talked about this), but I still like them. I’m alright with the idea of aliens. I think I’d be scared of a ghost, but I have never encountered one so it hasn’t been a problem (imagined ghosts of Indian Chiefs don’t count).

But I will tell you what terrifies the absolute pants off me. Spiders. I cannot deal with spiders. They scare the crap out of me. I hate them. As soon as I see one, panic explodes inside of me.

It’s not that I even mind other bugs. Giant moths don’t even freak me out.

(Found that at my friend’s cottage, you may remember)

I love being outside, and I feel like I pretty much grew up outside, and that’s where the bugs are! I don’t pick them up and fondle them or anything, but they’re fine. I don’t particularly enjoy mosquitos, because they like to bite me and then this happens:

Jerks.

And I’m mildly allergic to bees (I just swell up like a maniac, so it is really only a problem if I am stung on the trachea – actually happened once while I was standing in line inside Shoppers Drug Mart, but that is a story for another time), but I’m not even scared of them.

But spiders, they are frickin’ scary. I was going to draw you a picture of a scary-ass spider, but I don’t think I’ll be able to draw one as good as Allie’s from Hyperbole and a Half.

(source)

That is a scary spider. As all spiders are. Even Daddy Long Legs and baby spiders.

(source)

It’s true. I cannot.

I have no idea why spiders are so dang scary to me, but I think it has something to do with their abnormal amount of legs. I hate how they will just crawl all over you with their million legs like they own you. Like nowhere is off limits to them. Blech, blech and thrice blech.

Anyway, since it is spring, I have really been noticing lately that the spiders are OUT. I have been noticing this even more because I’m currently staying at my parents house, which is quite old, and seems to have more spiders than I am used to. At my house, I could go a month or two without encountering a spider…but here, I have seen one nearly every day. No lie. I will just be doing something totally normal and then all of a sudden SPIDER. ALERT.

And usually it has been an experience.

One of the first showers I took here, I pulled the shower curtain back and suddenly a spider appeared on it, right at face level, RIGHT BESIDE MY LIPS. I nearly made out with it. I obviously freaked out, and had to get a million tissues so I could kill it (which was an ordeal, as it was on the shower curtain so there was nothing solid behind it).

Another time I went to open a door and there was a spider ON THE DOORKNOB. I didn’t see it, and I totally touched it with my bare hand. I almost had a panic attack.

And the other day, there was a spider on the door (doors man, what is up with that?), and I saw it, and I went to gently open the door so as to not disturb it…but it is a tricky door, and the knob got stuck so I had to use a bit of force, and I accidentally FLUNG THE SPIDER ONTO MYSELF. Right onto my nungas. I’m surprised I didn’t have a heart attack, honestly. I am sad that no one was around to witness my reaction though, as I bet it was funny (not for me).

It also should be noted that I have never once seen a spider at my work. My office has always been a safe haven, free from the creepy little eight-legged beasts.

But last week I was in my office, and I noticed something crawling on the wall. It was a silly spider!

I immediately said “Um, there’s a spider in here. There is a spider in here! There’s a spider in my office! THERE IS A SPIDER ON THE WALL IN MY OFFICE!”

And my boss is amazing, and sometimes quite fatherly to me, so came in all macho with a Kleenex and was all “Allow me!” ready to get the spider…but when he went to kill the spider, it dropped onto the floor, so I had a little freak out…

So he kind of overexerted himself trying to get to the spider…and then he threw his back out (well, the spider can’t take all the credit here, he had already hurt his back that morning bending over [he is old], the spider just added to the injury). But man. Spiders! They are dangerous! I was very grateful that my boss really took one for the team for me in getting the spider, even with his hurt back. And even if he raved on about the spider and his hurt back for the rest of the day.

But I just can’t escape the spiders! They are everywhere! I feel like I could look anywhere at any time and bam! Surprise! SPIDER.

Someone please make them go away.

In the meantime though, I think I may have found a distraction from my spider fear…

(WARNING: I am about to post pictures of a very disgusting bug. If bugs gross you out, get out of here now before you have nightmares).

The other day I was perusing BuzzFeed (absolutely hilarious), and they had posted this picture as one of the 21 absolute worst things in the world:

And I was thinking to myself, that is one crazy looking centipede. That can’t be real. That is obviously an alien. And if it’s not, it probably lives in Tasmania or somewhere crazy. No way are those things in Canada.

But that night I went upstairs to bed, and I saw something out of the corner of my eye that had a LOT of LEGS hiding along my parents’ baseboards. I got a bit closer…

And then I took a picture.

WHAT IS THAT THING?! That is terrifying! That has WAY more legs than a spider! The worst thing is, I didn’t even kill it. I couldn’t! It was too speedy with it’s unnecessary amount of legs.

So now I am living with that, as well as spiders. Great. I’m excited.

Anyone else totally afraid of spiders? Anything else that is completely irrational that you’re afraid of? And is that bug not the worst thing you’ve ever seen?!

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Posted in Cartoons, Humour, Random Musings, Stories

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