Tag Archives: saxophone

Dawnald’s Ottawa Bachelorette

So I have mentioned a few times that my good friend Dawn from high school is getting married. I have blogged about her shower, and her Jack and Jill. And this weekend was her bachelorette party!

We all headed to Ottawa, our nation’s capital, to celebrate the impending end of Dawn’s singledom. Most of the girls headed up on Friday, but my friends Sherrie, Lisa, Joanna and I had things we needed to do on Friday, so the four of us drove up together on Saturday morning.

Ottawa is about a 4.5 hour drive from Toronto, but it honestly flew by. Sherrie is pretty much my road trip soulmate and enjoys the same activities as I do while driving: singing very loudly and horribly to old rock and 80s and 90s beats.

But of course I already knew this because of our camping adventure in August (coincidentally it was Halloween weekend then too!). Hopefully Joanna and Lisa didn’t hate us too much. The four of us were also roommates in our hotel, and we were all proclaiming our love for each other as the night progressed.

Roommate love. Soo much girl talk.

During our drive I kept Dawn updated with where we were, and she would let me know what her and the girls were up to…

Dawn kills me. That is exactly what I would have expected her to be wearing.

After arriving, we met up with all the girls to go out for dinner. The thoughtful Bachelorette provided us all with pink shirts for the occasion. We were a FORCE.

(Emily and I are in love)

The pink was a really nice touch.

Very bachelorette-y.

This is terrible, but I can’t remember the name of the restaurant where we went for dinner… Oh well, it was in the mall and we had an entire room to ourselves so we could get crazy. I got crazy and ordered the mac n’ cheese.

Which was really cheesy and really good. I was impressed. I don’t think I have ever ordered the mac n’ cheese from a restaurant before. No more of that. I may be getting it all the time now.

I also split an order of spinach dip with Dawn and our friend Emily.

Also very good, but they didn’t give us enough tortillas for the amount of dip. Story of spinach dip’s life I feel like…

Afterwards we headed back to the hotel, got ready, and headed over to the bachelorette’s room to hang out before our night on the town.

We played a hilarious game of how well does the groom know the bride, where Dawn’s lover Mark was asked a series of questions, and his answers were put on the back of cards. Dawn then had to read the original question and answer it, and if her answer did not match Mark’s she had to do a jello shot. If she got it right, she had to choose one of us to do a jello shot.

The question here is “Does Dawn prefer beards or mustaches?” and the answer was “Mustaches, obviously.” Dawn got it correct. The game was really funny and I was dying laughing.

And then it was bar time!

We had a few of our staple props with us. Like Troy.

Troy was very dirty from all of his earlier adventuring, so the girls decided he needed a bath.

And he had not quite completely dried by the time we went out…

We also had the saxophone (it originally made an appearance at Joanna’s birthday).

Which has been in so many random peoples’ mouths it’s ridiculous. And disgusting. Don’t put strange saxophones in your mouth! You don’t know where they’ve been! This saxophone in particular has been in the mouths of at least three homeless men!

We had a surprise for Dawn. She had no idea where we were going, but we had planned to take her to a gay bar to see a drag show. We knew it was going to be her dream.

It was Rocky Horror Picture Show themed, and it was hilariously ridiculous.

And that drag queen was beautiful! Men make such attractive women.

Dawn and Troy even got to on stage and be part of the show.

Somehow the drag queens got ahold of our saxophone and busted it out on stage as a surprise. And they pretended to play it during the saxophone solo of Whatever Happened to Saturday Night.

I can’t tell you how much this made me laugh. I was absolutely dying. I remember looking over at Dawn during this and her eyes were just shining in awe. I think she was nearly moved to tears.

I guess the saxophone had too much though, because by the end of the night it was broken.

Sad, sad day. Now it is just a whistle. But we still made people blow it.

Since it was Halloween weekend, many people were in costumes, which definitely stepped up the hilariousness of the night.


And this picture may be my favourite of the entire night:

It’s Jughead!

Oh man. Fun, fun times. Best night ever.

I love my little Dawnald! I am so happy for her.

And I can’t WAIT for her wedding in Jamaica. Cannot wait. An entire week of this ridiculousness. I am tingling in anticipation.

Cowgirls on the Loose (Stampede Round 2)

Hello friends!

Now, I know I overuse the phrase “This was the best _____ (insert whatever here) of my life!” I say it all the time. I can’t help it. I tend to get overly excited about things (a lot of things that no one else gets excited about), so I sometimes go over the top when I am trying to describe something. I say it is the BEST and rave on about how much I LOVE it. This may make people take me less seriously, because not everything can be the best. I know this. But some things truly are the BEST.

I am prefacing with that because I need to say that Saturday was one of the best bar nights of my life. Genuinely. I cannot think of a time where I’ve had more fun. I scream-laughed for at least two hours straight, which I am pretty sure is how I lost my voice. I still can’t get over just how fun it was.

Saturday afternoon, Lisa and I headed over to Kirstie’s house to meet up with the girls. In a huge coincidence, my good friend Dawn (who also has her own blog now!), was also visiting Calgary at the same time as me. Dawn was staying with our friend Crystal, who has been our good friend since high school (and mine since elementary school, what!) Sadly, I don’t get to see Crystal very often, but you may remember me blogging about her last summer when we stayed with her aunt in Muskoka for the weekend.

Crystal is on the far right. Dawnald is beside me in the glasses.

It was so awesome that four of my best friends were with me across the country! It was quite a reunion.

And a glamour shot…

My loves!

But that is not all. Dawn had some friends with her from Edmonton, and Crystal had a few of her friends from Calgary (one was Kirstie, whose house we were at), so in total we made 10. Ten girls ready for a good cowboy time.

Around 4:15, we headed over to a cowboy bar in Calgary called Ranchman’s.

We do not usually go to the bar this early like a big bunch of lame-o’s, but during Stampede everything is very busy and if we got there after 5pm, we may have had to wait in line for hours. Before 5, there was no line, and no cover. Sounded good to us. We got there and we were IN! And it was already busy.

The bar was HUGE. Just huge. You know I am no stranger to country bars if you read the post about our Ranch adventure in Guelph (where I rode the mechanical bull), but this country bar was wayyyy better. It was so busy, with so many hilarious cowpeople. We also ate dinner there because we were ridiculously early, and I had the most amazing steak sandwich (but my picture of it sucks).

It was also Crystal’s 29th birthday (welcome to the club, my friend!) on Saturday, so we of course were celebrating that event. Crystal had some props, including fake spurs (that jingle jangle jingled), and toy guns.

I am not sure there is a bar in Ontario that will let you in with a gun, even if it’s a toy. But in Calgary, hey, it’s a necessary cowboy accessory.

There is something that needs to be understood. My friends and I are a little bit crazy (good crazy!), and our main objective basically is to laugh. So we will do pretty much anything to get a reaction from people and make them laugh, because it then makes us laugh. It is a cycle of beautiful laughter.

And if I have one piece of advice for you, it is bring a prop to the bar. It is an instant conversation piece, and automatically equals fun. You know we love to bring the glasses around, and that silly saxophone that we made people drink from. Both are good times. So they both came out to play…

I had the saxophone in my purse and it was too big for it so it was sticking out a bit, and this guy came up to me and was all “Uh… What is…is that a saxophone in your purse?” Yes. What do you think it is? Silly.

And we picked up other props along the way, like more glasses…

I don’t even know where these came from, but they ended up in Lisa’s purse at the end of the night.

And I found a shirt at our table, so immediately put that puppy on…

And then I found the owners of the shirt, so this happened…

They look happy…

The best props were the guns though, for sure. They came in very handy to get people to do things for us, like drink out of the bell of the saxophone.

And remove their shirts.

Whoooooa there. What is this? I had no idea you could just point a fake gun at someone and say “Hey, remove your shirt please,” and, well…

Done! Shirt removed. I can’t even describe how much this stuff makes me laugh.

And I am immediately hitting up the dollar store and buying a toy gun so I can test this out on the streets of Toronto.

People kept asking us if we were at a bachelorette party, and we were like “NOPE!” Just a reunion of wild and crazy gals.

We met some real-deal cowboys!

I mean, I think so. That’s what the tassels mean, right? I kept an eye out for real, rodeoing, bull-riding, calf-wrangling, spur-wearing cowboys, but since everyone was in cowboy gear, it was difficult to tell the real from the impostors.

And I definitely have to mention “The Zoo.” On one of the patios, there was a window to the other patio, and there were a bunch of people standing on the other side. So, we went over there with all our props and started being silly against the window to get their attention.

The guys were soo entertaining. I was dying laughing at their gestures and trying to talk to them through the glass. We said they were like animals in the zoo because they were behind the glass…but WAY more entertaining than any zoo animals I’ve ever seen!

I mean…

Ohh, fine. Take your shirt off if you must.

Girls, I am telling you, go to the Stampede. You will love it. You will love it!!! And make sure you bring props. You will have the best night ever!

Does that picture not just scream FUN?! I think it does.

Oh yeah, one last thing. There was a McDonalds directly across from the bar, so we had to stop there afterwards, obviously. And look who we ran into!

Ronald McDonald! Well…Ronald McCreepy is probably more accurate.

And then Lis and I went back to her apartment and again stayed up until 3:30 in the morning talking. And looking at these pictures, and killing ourselves laughing.

I have said it before and I will say it again, I love Stampede! And my friends! And their friends! And everything about this night!

Birthday Sax

Hello there.

So last night my friends and I celebrated our friend Joanna’s 29th birthday.

I loooved Jo’s birthday dress. Just loved it. She was a radiant birthday girl.

You may remember my post about Jo’s MUZIKal birthday last year, when a bunch of girls headed downtown in a limo to the club MUZIK. It was good times for sure.

(last year’s MUZIKal girls)

Jo is definitely a fan of elaborate birthday celebrations, and I am definitely a fan of any sort of celebration, so it works out well.

This year nearly the same girls were in attendance, and we again went downtown for shenanigans. Our first stop was dinner at Spice Route, an Asian bistro + bar on King Street.

This would be me with most of my best friends from high school if you are new to my blog. They are a fun time (I will get to that).

I was a terrible blogger and did not take any pictures of my meal. No biggie though, I actually thought my dinner was terrible and I would not recommend anyone order it… I hate saying that. I really rarely complain about my food (really, I will eat and enjoy pretty much anything), but everyone who tried it agreed with me. It was called vegetable curry, but it was not a curry at all. It was almost like a really mild, tasteless teriyaki. It reminded me a lot of the chicken and vegetable teriyaki Lean Cuisine, but worse. Seriously, I was so not impressed.

Moving on though, everyone else enjoyed their meals, and I shared a pitcher of sangria with my friend Lisa and that was delicious (but I have never met a sangria I didn’t like, so…)

Joanna’s birthday cake was ridiculous!

Seriously ridiculous. I’m pretty sure it was diamond encrusted and had a HUGE flower on the front of it. It was probably the most beautiful cake I’ve ever seen. And the flavour was banana and Nutella, with buttercream icing. Just an absolute dream. I wanted to dive into it face first. But I settled for my one slice and was a happy camper. Such deliciousness should be illegal.

After dinner it was bar time! We headed to Century Room, also on King, almost directly across from Spice Route, so it worked out very well location-wise.

I am a beer drinker through and through, but we had bottle service so vodka it was! I can get down like that.

So, we brought a dollar store saxophone with us as a prop. I need to address the sax because it ended up being the highlight of the night for me. There was a lot of pretending to play George Michael’s Careless Whisper, like this fine young gent:

(Side note: that is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen, and if a shirtless man in a mullet came up to me and started playing Careless Whisper on a saxophone I would DIE. I would not be able to contain my laughter and I’m pretty sure I would actually pee my pants.)

So pretending to play Careless Whisper and getting people to dance for us was fun for a while, but then Dawn stepped it up and added alcohol (champagne actually, very classy) and a straw to the bell of the sax and would hold it out to strangers (men) and ask if they wanted to drink from it.

I could not get over how many people actually drank from the saxophone. People were actually excited to drink from the saxophone! Sometimes we didn’t even say anything, we just held the sax up to them and they would purse their lips for the straw. So trusting!

If someone came up to me and offered me a drink from their saxophone, there is no way in hell I would take it. That is just disgusting. So funny though. So, so funny.

God I loved that sax. And I’m pretty sure Ray Charles (above) drank from it and loved it.

Obviously we had the glasses also, since we never go anywhere without them.

The glasses and the saxophone were a winning combination.

We also found a very, very short man.

Please note that I am 5’9″ and I am wearing heels. Dawn is 5’4″ and there is actually a picture of her walking under his legs (I don’t know who took it, but it’s somewhere!) I have no idea how tall that guy is but I am going to guess around seven feet. Holy tall, Batman! He was so, so nice (and tall).

Just such a fun night. And I know the beautiful birthday girl had a good time, so that’s all that matters.

And in other exciting news, it turns out there was a crumb stuck under my trackpad and it is now back to normal! Yes yes.

Have a great night!