Tag Archives: random

The Lost iPhone

Soo, Friday night I lost my iPhone. Dark times.

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Just a nightmare. I have never lost a phone before, or any electronic device actually, and I woke up on Saturday morning in a panic. I had no idea where it could have gone. I remembered using it on the subway home after the St. Paddy’s adventures, but not actually having it once I got home (because I went straight to bed like an old lady).

I figured I accidentally left it on the subway, or dropped it in the street, and it was gone forever. Immediately I thought of this story about the guy who had his iPad stolen and the girl who stole it started taking self portraits which were then automatically synced to his iPhone.

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But I don’t use iCloud, so sadly that wouldn’t be happening for me.

But it was a sad, sad day. Because who returns an iPhone? I assumed I’d be seeing it up for sale on Kijiji by the end of the day.

I emailed Evan to let him know, and we both tried calling it and it went straight to voicemail. I had to use Google Voice to call because I don’t have a home phone (which is actually a super awesome thing). I felt so naked without my beautiful little celly, so I was already looking into getting a new one. On the bright side, I only have six months left in my contract so I could get a new phone for pretty cheap, and on the other bright side, I had just backed up my entire phone for the VERY FIRST TIME on Thursday because I did a full reinstall of everything trying to free up some space. That was flukey. So all was not lost, I wouldn’t actually lose anything. Just some hilarious photos and a couple videos from Friday night.

But then a miracle happened! Evan texted my phone asking “Did someone find this phone?” and someone wrote back and said yes! And then the guy who had it called him! It turns out he found my phone on the stairs of my subway station (I guess it fell out of my pocket) and he wanted to return it.

I was ecstatic.

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That was pretty much my reaction. I was absolutely shocked. I really did not think I would be getting it back. I had already mourned the loss of my phone and was trying to positively look forward. Even my cop friend said someone returning an iPhone in Toronto was pretty much unheard of.

The guy who found it worked in one of the mobile booths of a mall nearby, so I just zipped on over Saturday afternoon and picked that puppy up. It worked out beautifully actually, as I had a bunch of errands to run and everything I needed was in that mall.

I don’t know who found my phone, because there were two guys working, so it was either an older white man or a young black man. I am just going to say they are both angels. But I do know his name was Sylvester. So thank you Sylvester! Big time cheers to you!

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I will drink to that (and I did, on Saturday). I am so, so grateful to be reunited with my phone.

I think this is just a nice story that says there are still good people in this world who wouldn’t find an iPhone and immediately try to sell it like a big d-bag. Hurrah for that.

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Random Search Term Time

Well, I’m not sure what to talk about today. Truthfully I’m not even sure what my blog is about anymore. Probably not healthy-living, as that has just been sporadic lately (although I do feel like I am getting back on the healthy-living train, it is not quite up to speed just yet). And I can’t draw cartoons all the time, because they take me a million years.

Anyway, what do I usually do when I am not sure what to write about? Random search terms! Let’s review the interesting things people have Googled lately to somehow end up on my blog.

strange bug in the bathroom that has lots of legs

It was this thing, wasn’t it?

I’ve seen it too. That thing is so crazy disgusting that I don’t even have any words to describe it. I hope to never see one again. And to the person who Googled this, I hope it didn’t touch you. Blechhhh.

typical grocery store layout

This is hard to find! I was googling this relentlessly myself when I did my Familiar Grocery Store vs. Unfamiliar Grocery Store post. I couldn’t find anything! So I drew one.

You may use it. Just, you know, credit me or something.

where to buy just vinegar and just oil for salads

Hmm…good question. I don’t know, maybe a GROCERY STORE? See above if you are unfamiliar.

i love cookies

Me too. Ohhh me too me too me too.

People used to bring literally a pile of cookies and put them on my desk at work and say “I brought these for you!!!!!”.

An entire pile of cookies, just for me. No lie, it’s documented.

So I ate them. This has stopped happening, thankfully, or I would be obese. I cannot resist the cookies!

never got a power wheels jeep for christmas

Oh sad, sad day. Me neither. And ohhhh how I wanted the Barbie one.

I would have looked so cool driving around my neighbourhood in that. I am still bitter. There were quite a few awesome presents that I wanted and never received

My brother Eric sure did get a jeep though.

So I feel your pain.

how to host a bucket party

Oh it is very, very easy. You buy some buckets, invite people over, have them decorate their buckets, and then you pour booze in them.

And then you drink out of them. Seriously, if you are ever wondering how to get a party started, just hand your guests a bucket of alcohol. Guaranteed good time.

good card from nana

I love Nana cards! My Nana gives me the best cards about my dreams coming true! With stickers!

She also has been known to regift cards that children have made for her, white-out their name, and add her own, as you know

Such a beautiful card Nana, did you make this?

Nope. Noo she did not. She gets serious points for her scrappiness though. And I will cherish this card forever and ever. That is the BEST card from Nana.

Speaking of nana’s, this leads me to my next search term:

nana with glasses

Heeeeere ya go:

I love my Nana.

funny birthday twin pictures

Well I think it depends on who your birthday twin is. If your birthday twin happens to be Justin Bieber, as mine is…

It’s pretty easy to create a funny birthday twin picture…

how to give someone heavy a piggyback

Uhh, I am not sure I’m the best person to come to for advice about this. We all know how well that turned out…

Bad news. So I think my advice would be…don’t. Or do! You’ll have a good story!

will my daughter have fun at a princess birthday party

Probably. I sure did.

They even let me wear the princess sash. I was honoured.

why cat shows are better than dog shows

Because cats are awesome?! And also because apparently at cat shows the kitties are judged on their friskiness.

I had the best time with Hannah at the cat show we went to!

how to stop bed wetting

Don’t. Just blame it on the apple juice.

If, however, you really must stop the bed-wetting, I do have a handy pamphlet you may borrow…

Well, it’s actually my friend Emily’s. But I’m sure she’d let you have it as I am confident she has mastered the art of not wetting the bed.

activities for a bachelorette party ottawa

Drag show, drag show, DRAG SHOW!

And bring a saxophone!

And that is all for today my cheeky Googling friends. Have a good day!

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We Love the Manor, do do do, do dooo

So. Story time!

On the way back from the beach on Saturday, we accidentally took a wrong turn and happened to pass The Manor, which is a, uh, “premier” gentlemen’s club (no, I will not be linking to the website, it’s inappropes), that looked semi fancy and expensive.

I guess I am not the most strip club savvy, as I had never heard of it, but Dawn, Leanne, and Julie immediately started singing “We love the Manor, do do do, do dooo,” (to the tune of We Want Candy) and clapping their hands. I asked them to tell me the story about it, as clearly it was a big inside joke that I had somehow missed out on, and they explained to me that they had been driving by this place for 10 years, and every time they did they were all “Wooooo, The Manor!” and they sang that song.

One of them mentioned that it was their dream to go inside, just to see what it was like. And then someone else mentioned that we should go in and ask for a tour, since it was the middle of the day, the parking lot was empty so it was clearly not busy, and probably no one would be dancing yet.

And then someone said our wrong turn must have been fate. We were meant to come here.

I like the idea of fate usually, but in this case I was skeptical. I am a little crazy, yes, and I will do pretty much anything for a story, true, but this made me feel a bit…apprehensive and sketchy.

But the next thing I knew, we were pulling into the parking lot, which had a few old men leisuring around in it (I think they worked there). And the next thing I knew, Dawn stopped the car by the back door, and as a man approached us, said to him “She would like to work here,” and pointed at me.

This caught me by surprise (although it shouldn’t have, as I know these gals are unpredictable peaches). I was immediately embarrassed, and was all…

But then the man offered us a tour, and the girls were whispering “Just go with it! It will be funny!”

And they were probably not wrong. So, I went with it.

We parked and got out of the car (as we did, the old men in the parking lot yelled “You’re hired!” at us, so that was uplifting), and followed our tour guide around the building to the front door. As we were walking he pointed things out to us, like the window to his living quarters, saying “And I live there…”

And I said, “Perfect, no commute!” (something I am always jealous of, as my drive to work is ridiculous).

We entered the building, and were immediately accosted by the smell of stale cigarette smoke and shame. The man pointed down a flight of stairs and said that was where all the girls lived, and their rooms had all been recently renovated. How nice, and so convenient to live where you work. Not only could they just roll out of bed and into their workplace, they didn’t even have to put on clothes!

And this was really starting to sound like the Playboy mansion…

The actual club was fairly nice, I guess. There was definitely an element of seediness to it, but it looked fancier than I expected. Nicer than the, ah, adult entertainment club in my neighbourhood, which I have been to exactly once when I was freshly 19 (what, you have to check these places out at least once in your life so you know what happens at bachelor parties!). I remember being severely disappointed in the dancing, as I expected there to be a ton of fun jumping around on stage, but instead I just saw a bunch of girls crawling around on the floor to Enya… I didn’t think it was remotely sexy, but I am a girl, so what the hell do I know.

Anyway, there were about three sketchy looking men scattered around, and roughly the same amount of scantily clad ladies, but nothing crazy was happening.

As we passed the bar, our tour guide told the bartender that he was just giving us a little tour, and the bartender said “they have brought their own props!”

Because Leanne and I were eating ice cream cones that we had just gotten from McDonalds.

Leanne didn’t get to enjoy hers for very long though. She accidentally touched it against the wall of a glass shower we got a (bad quality) picture in…

Yeah, I should mention there was a shower inside the club. That is a shower head that Dawn is holding.

So I think we can all imagine what has gone down in that shower…so we assumed the ice cream was tainted.

It was a funny little tour, and I was laughing heartily…until our guide asked me if I was ready for my “audition.” And then I’m pretty sure my face looked like this:

And I started to run away… But then he laughed and said not to worry, he knew we were joking the entire time, he was just going along with our shenanigans. He was quite nice actually.

He also told us that the girls can make about $1,500 a night. What?

No commute, and $1,500 a night? I am in the wrong business.

But, since my best dance moves look like this…

I’m pretty sure that is out for me as a career choice…

And a few other reasons as well.

Annnnd that was our impromptu Guelph strip club adventure.

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For the Love of Being Active

Allo.

So yesterday I wrote about how to not hate running, and I feel as if it may need a little follow-up. I had a couple of comments that made me go “hmm, that is a good point,” and although I responded to them, I want to address them here as well because I feel they were valid with their concern. So today is yesterday’s less funny follow-up.

A couple people commented along the lines of “why force yourself to do something if you hate it?” and I AGREE, but I feel like that maybe didn’t come through in my writing.

Hate is a pretty strong word, and one that I try not to use often. When I use it to describe something like running, I guess I am trying to use it in more of a jokey-jokey manner.

I don’t think that I would ever do something if I really, truly hated it. But with running, I just thought I hated it. I never stuck with it enough to give myself a chance to like it. I assumed I hated it. I went into every run with thoughts of “I hate this” instead of being open-minded about it. Once I really gave running a chance, I discovered that fine, it’s not easy, but it has okay moments.

The other thing is, I have never exercised just to exercise, and I thought running was essentially exercising just to exercise.

But those comments made me think all day today about what activities I actually love.

Growing up I was active because I did a lot. I swam every day in the summer, did a lot of waterskiing and wakeboarding, skiing, skating, hiking in the forest, and played a few sports (I especially love volleyball even though I’m not great at it). I was outside doing stuff all the time. But the difference for me between those activities and exercising is those are all fun and I genuinely love them, and I have never found “exercising” fun.

But I don’t live on a lake anymore, so swimming, water sports, and skating every day are all out for me as ways to be active. I don’t live near very many hiking trails, so that is not really feasible either. My skis mysteriously disappeared after I left them in my Dad’s garage while I was moving (I am not blaming you Dad, but I’ll admit you are a suspect in their disappearance), and since there is no snow most of the time, that means skiing is out.

As for playing sports…sure, sometimes, but it’s not an every day thing. Office Boccia isn’t a very good workout (though it is fun).

I want to be active, and to maintain a healthy weight I need to be active, but all the activities that I truly love are not ones that I can do every day. The exercising just to exercise is a mindset thing, I know that, and my way of getting over it is to trick myself into liking activities that I previously thought were not fun. Or make activities that are typically not fun a good time.

Enter running. I love running because all I need to do it is a good sports bra, and a pair of running shoes (I do need new shoes though, mine are pretty old). I don’t need any other equipment, I don’t even need a treadmill. It gets me outside and active with minimal prep.

When I am running, I am still not thinking “I love this, this is so awesome!” but I have come up with little tricks to make myself like it. I like listening to music, so it helps me to like running. I like being competitive with myself, so I make up little games like “I WIN” to play while I am running. I like wearing new clothes, so new clothes for running make me excited to run. Those sorts of things.

Also, and I keep mentioning this, but I cannot get over how I feel after a good run. I don’t think there is any other activity that could make me feel any better. I also really like how motivated and excited I get after I make any progress. I just love how running makes me feel, as cheesy as that sounds, and that is probably the closest I will ever get to loving it.

So that’s why I run. I want to be active, I can trick myself into liking it, and I love the way it makes me feel afterwards. If you just hate it, and you can’t find a way to make yourself like it, then definitely do not force yourself to do it. Walking is way cool also!

There are so many serious running blogs that talk about running marathons, what to eat, what to wear, etc. but I know there are people who, like me, just want to be active and find a way to like running and maybe one day run a 5k. I hope that my post was helpful in that context.

And now I am curious…

  • Why do you exercise?
  • Do you exercise just to exercise?
  • What is your favourite way to be active?

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The Fence

If you have read my About page, you may have noticed that I love the game Manhunt.

Manhunt is basically like a game of outdoor hide-and-go-seek/tag, and it is seriously awesome. I would still play it today if I could find people to play it with me. I don’t know the proper rules, but when we were growing up we played outside in the dark, and you had to hide until the person who was “It” found you. Once you were found, you had to run to Home Free before they caught you.

If they tagged you before you got to Home Free, you were It. If the person who was It didn’t tag anyone, they had to be It for another round (and possibly forever). Being It sucked. Everyone avoided and taunted you. I dreaded being It.

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To decide who was first It, we all put our feet in a circle and did the whole eenie meenie miny mo thing, and then added: “My mother and your mother were hanging out the clothes, My mother punched your mother right in the nose. What colour was the blood? RED! R-E-D spells Red.” And then person belonging to the foot you landed on was out. This was repeated until there was only one foot left in the circle, and that person was It. It was very elaborate and we did not mess around.

My house was the perfect place to play manhunt. I had a pretty big property, surrounded by the forest, lake, a park (it only had two swings and a teeter-totter but it was very foresty with lots of hiding places), and my neighbours’ property.

Home Free was a picnic table in my front yard.

One night we were playing manhunt, and I was hiding with my bestie Lisa.  It was absolutely pitch black. We had been hiding in the park next to my house, but were caught, and were running away from my neighbour Ivan, who was It. Everyone else had already made it to Home Free. We were Ivan’s last chance of escaping being It again.

We had managed to get away from him and were lying low across the street at the back of my house on the lake side. Our only goal was to make it to Home Free. I was terrified of being caught and becoming It. If I ended up being It, I could see myself not being able to catch anyone and staying It for the rest of the night and everyone harassing me. It was a horrifying prospect. It was the last thing I wanted to be.

We knew Ivan was still on my property to the left, and we knew he was after us, but he didn’t know where we were yet because it was so dark.

It was a tricky situation. If we just started running towards Home Free, Ivan would see us and probably head us off and catch us. We had to lure him towards us first before we started running.

We instantly made a plan.

We would make Ivan run towards us, and as he was running diagonally for us, we would run straight for my house, go around the side, and book it to Home Free.

It would take Ivan a few seconds to change direction, and since we would have a head start, I was confident we would make it.

I was already picturing our sweet victory dance on the picnic table.

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We put our plan into action.

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I heard Ivan start to run, so I waited a few seconds and then yelled to Lisa “RUN!!!!!!!”

She took off, and I quickly followed. I could hear Ivan chasing after us and let me just say, I have never ran so fast in my entire life. We were on a mission. We were BOOKING IT.

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About 20 seconds into our run I heard a humoungous CRASH in front of me. Lisa had run into something. I couldn’t see her, but there was a hose for the eaves trough on my property around where I thought we were. I figured Lisa hit that and tripped. I made an instant decision – look out for number one and keep running.

I didn’t want to hit the hose myself, so I prepared myself for it. I started running even faster so that I could just effortlessly leap over it (and Lisa, if need be).

And here is how that went in my head:

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I remember reaching my sprinting potential, and thinking to myself “I have never run this fast in my life! I feel so free and wild running in the wind!” My legs felt as if they were flying over the grass!

Just as I thought this, something stopped me dead. There was an old decorative (I use that term loosely) wooden fence that surrounded my yard, that served absolutely no purpose, and in our rush to get away from Ivan I had completely forgotten about it.

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The crash I heard wasn’t from Lisa hitting the hose, it was from Lisa hitting the fence. Just as I broke into a full-out sprint, I crashed into it, and it hit me at thigh-level. I did a complete flip over it.

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Lisa had also hit the fence at thigh-level and did a full flip over it. I landed directly on top of her.

The fence was totally broken. Lisa must have cracked it when she hit it, and I completely did it in when I hit it right after.

And Ivan saw his opportunity and seized it. I opened my eyes and saw his grinning face above us.

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The Party and the Rowboat

I have mentioned a few times before that I grew up in the middle of nowhere (too many times? Sorry, it’s important to the story…and most of my stories). It was a small community, and many of my neighbours were only around in the summer, as I lived on a lake and it was very popular for cottagers.

Growing up, my favourite times in my neighbourhood were long weekends. All the cottagers were up, so I always had my friends over and we always had new people to hang out with (read: boys).

On one August long weekend when I was 17, I had my friend Dawn over for the weekend and we were bored! In a rare occurrence, none of the regular cottagers were up, and we were just sitting around my house with nothing to do.

It was a beautiful evening, so we decided to go for a walk by the lake to see if we could see anyone out having fun.

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(Just a note, my house had the best stars, and I miss them so much.)

As we were walking, we started to hear a commotion coming from across the lake. We could hear music, and people yelling. It sounded like a PARTY!

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Jackpot. A party was exactly what we were looking for.

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And here is how we envisioned the party:

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We wanted to go to that party. We had to get to that party. It became our mission.

We started walking along the lake towards the direction of the party. Along the way, we found a boat launch. We went out onto the dock to get a better feel for exactly where the party action was going down.

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We still couldn’t really see anything, but we were in kind of a bay, and the party sounded like it was coming from almost directly on the other side of it.

So how could we get there…

If we took the road, or even walked along the lake, it would take us at least an hour. If only we could somehow go directly across the bay. Obviously we couldn’t swim there, and we didn’t have a boat…

We turned around, dejected, thinking it was just too far to walk.

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And then we saw it.

An old, beat up rowboat. It was just sitting by the edge of the lake.

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It was a miracle! We figured we could just borrow the rowboat, row to the party, which was just a quick jaunt across the bay, check it out for a bit, and safely row back and return the rowboat before anyone even realized it was missing. Problem solved!

We were already picturing ourselves making a grand entrance at the party in our rowboat.

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It was going to be awesome.

We got into the clunky little beast, and started rowing in the direction of the party. All went well for the first few minutes (as it often does, if you think of the stupid tree pulley, and the subway door), and we had a great time rowing our little boat.

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But then…

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We started to notice a significant amount of water accumulating in the bottom of the boat.

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We continued to row, hoping it was just a tiny, slow leak…but the boat continued to fill steadily with water. Our rowing became more frantic.

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The boat continued to fill with water to the point that we were concerned about whether or not we would make it to the party at all. It was a real possibility that the boat might sink and leave us stranded in the middle of the bay.

We had nothing to bail the water out with, so we tried using our hands, but to no avail.

We continued to row like madmen, and eventually we made it to the dock of the party. By this time our boat was almost completely under water.

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The scene was not unfolding as we had planned, and it was not the arrival we had been anticipating, but we were fully prepared to roll with the punches and play the damsels in distress role.

We got out of the rowboat and clambered onto the dock. The boat sank to the bottom of the lake.

And we were greeted by the party attendees, who were very friendly. But not as we had pictured…

Feeling dejected, we walked home.

But we didn’t leave empty handed, my friends. We left with a story!

The End.

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