Tag Archives: margaritaville

WE’RE ON A BOAT! (The Catamaran Adventure)

Our next Jamaican off-resort adventure was the catamaran trip!


And I am pretty sure this day was the highlight of my entire trip. It was soo much fun.

We all piled onto the bus from our resort and headed to Montego Bay, about a 45 minute drive. Our bus driver was hilarious. Jussssst hilaaarious. His name was Richard, so of course we called him Big Dick.


And we just loved him. He gave us a little tour on the way there, and told us stories, and pointed out landmarks to us. Big Dick was a fun time, and he told us about his two daughters and his house, and finally we were all “Big Dick, can we go to your house?!” But we had strangers on our bus from another resort and they did not think this was a good idea and said we should probably put that idea to a vote… (and they would have voted that idea down)

Obviously Big Dick was not allowed to take us to his house, but he thought this was very funny so it made him laugh hard, and that was our goal.

Anyway, eventually we ended up at the beach, where our boat the Sea Dreamer awaited us. Dawn was all ready with her captain’s hat.


And so was Mark.


They are a dream team.

When the crew was making announcements about boat safety and stuff, they mentioned that the bar was going to be closed until we were done snorkeling. We were outraged. Dawn immediately stormed over to the bar to complain, it was the first time I had seen her even remotely anxious about anything the entire trip. But the bartenders were all “We be jokin’, mon! The bar is always open here!” and poured us all a round of drinks. Yes Yes. We were all appeased (by the way, “Yeah mon” is not a stereotype. Everyone I met who lived in Jamaica said it at least three times a sentence. It replaced “Yes.”)

The crew of the Sea Dreamer was awesome, and of course we made friends…


That guy kept bringing us drinks so we liked him a lot.

At one point the crew had a little acrobatics competition, so that was pretty entertaining to watch.



We were on the boat sailing around for about an hour or so, drinking, talking, having a good time befriending our crew, and then we reached the reef where we would be snorkeling. So we put on our all gear and jumped into the turquoise water. Check out the pretty fishies!



And this is where we noticed the man who would become our very favourite crew member. Of all time. I cannot for the life of me remember his name (it could be Simon? I wanna say Simon), but he was amazing. He stayed with us the entire time, and he brought fun things up to the surface for us.

Like sea cucumbers!


I looooved the sea cucumber.


And he also brought us Emily’s nemesis, dun dun dunnnnnn…


The big bad sea urchin (though this one was not quite as scary as the ones on our resort…)


Actually I thought it was kind of cute… But yes, it was prickly. And it was suctioning itself to my hand! Such a weird sensation.

After our snorkel adventure with our new best friend whose name is possibly Simon, we docked at Margaritaville Part 2!



I like to include random people in my photos. They like it.

I thought Margaritaville was a one time deal, but apparently it is a chain. This is the Montego Bay Margaritaville. And it didn’t really have a beach, but it sure did have a slide!


QUITE the slide. We all took a turn on that thing.


I think that is Leanne making an appearance. That thing was crazy.

There were other water activities, like another crazy slippery water slide, and a water trampoline, so we hung out there for about an hour or so and did the water thangs until it was time to head back to the Sea Dreamer.

Upon our arrival back on the boat, Dawn convinced some man to let her wear his shirt.


We were dying. I want that shirt. I love that song!

And Simon (I’m just gonna call him Simon), decided that he wanted to give Emily a leg massage, because her legs must have been tired from our excursion.


Emily was all “Nooo, you don’t have to massage my legs!” but he was a persistent little minx, and he convinced her for about 10 minutes. So she caved.


I think he LIKED it! Look how happy he is!

And then he was just offering us all leg massages. Jenny was up next.


And while that was happening we chatted with him about his life and asked him what his favourite thing is about his job and how old he is, and how long he has been working on the boat. It was 20 questions for sure.

Then he offered me a leg massage, and I politely declined, but again, persistent. So I finally gave in and ohhhhh sweet baby Jesus and all things holy, it was the best leg massage I have ever had (I don’t think I have had very many though…) That man knew what he was doing. Probably massages all the ladies, all the time.

I thought Simon was just super nice and really liked giving leg massages, but when I walked back to the bar to get a drink I saw this:


And I died laughing. Leg massages for everyone!

And then I looked over to where the captain was, and Julie was driving the boat.


With the help of Captain Beardo!


And I died laughing again.

And then I broke out the glasses my parents got me for Christmas, for exactly this purpose.


They were a big hit. And I don’t know who that man is, but he also snuck in our group picture.


He is a surprise behind Jenny and Joanna.

Oh man how I loved the catamaran. When we got back to the beach it was dark, so we all made our way over to our bus yelling “Big Dick!” (so our bus diver could find us). And we all safely got on.

And then our friend Simon showed up!

We thought he was coming to say goodbye, but he was just bringing Dawn back to us because we had accidentally left her in the beach bathroom.

And Big Dick drove us back to our resort, and we sang the ENTIRE. TIME. We sang “I’ve Got Friends In Low Places”, and “Don’t Stop Believing”, and we sang the Canadian national anthem, and then because there were Americans on our bus and we didn’t want to leave them out we sang the American national anthem. And then we sang Ludicris “What’s Your Fantasy.” Basically every song we knew the words to, country songs, hip hop songs, rock songs, we sang them. At the top of our lungs. The entire drive. I will never, ever forget this. I don’t think Big Dick will either. He told us we were his favourite group that he had ever had. But maybe he says that to everyone, who knows. I’m going to pretend he doesn’t.

But I will just say…Best day!!!!! Best day ever!


Margaritaville and Rick’s Cafe (also known as Rum Punch Pong Day)

I wanna take a break from the resort shenanigans and talk about our Jamaican excursions. First up is Negril!

Negril was about a 40 minute drive from our resort. I think. On the way there I was honestly having too much fun on the bus to pay attention, and on the way back I fell asleep (perhaps “passed out” would be more accurate). But it was on the opposite side of Montego Bay from us.

Dawn and her fam actually booked a tour and went separately in the morning, but our friend Khaki (we call him that because he wears khakis a lot) hired a bus to take the rest of us, because it was cheaper, not as long, and there were certain things we wanted to do that the tour may have held us back from. Like if wanted to spend longer on the beach, for example, we didn’t want to be locked into the tour.

So about 1:30pm last Monday we all piled into the bus for our Negril adventure.



(That is Mark’s brother Luke and his wife Jenny. Luke looks so much like Mark, right?)

Joanna was our co-bus driver/tour guide.


I told our driver that Joanna was also a bus driver back in Ontario, and she needed to sit at the front with him so she could gain experience studying his sweet bus driving skills. And then someone else told him Joanna was a stripper, and, well, that story was better so we just went with that.

We passed some Jamaican towns.



And we waved at the residents as we passed and they waved back.

And then we pulled up to Margaritaville! Yeahhhh!



Margaritaville was super aweosme. The beach was absolutely stunning. Crystal clear turquoise water and miles wide (according to Google four miles wide, but the residents say seven).




And here is how Margaritaville looked from the water.


We set up shop on the beach and immediately made American friends.


Perhaps you have already discovered this by reading my blog, but my friends and I will pretty much talk to anyone.

The guy to the right of me came over right away and said “Just so you know, I don’t work here, I’m a tourist!” and then he picked me up, maybe to prove it?


Well alllllright then. This does not usually happen to me because I am not small. Usually we get people to pick Joanna up. But it was pretty funny. He liked the glasses.


They were really beautiful on him.

We made lots of new friends actually, like with the lifeguard…




He was a good time. He seemed to be a big fan of us.

And then we found some beach break dancers…


And they were VERY entertaining, so we chatted with them for a bit.


And then we swam out to the water trampoline and jumped around and then swam in that amaaaaazing ocean for a while.


(those are our friends, not strangers)

The boys found starfish!


They were cute. I wanted to take one home with me but I didn’t want it to die, so I was able to stop myself.

So it needs to be said, everyone had a day when they were the most drunk. This day was mine. And I don’t want to point fingers here, but I owe it to beach rum punch pong. Like beer pong, but with rum punch. Sherrie and I played a game with the Carnagan brothers, and we lost (so I don’t know why THEY look so grumpy in this picture).


Luke, Dave, Mark – Dave is actually married to our good friend Leanne! That is how Mark and Dawn originally met (and Leanne is in the above picture in the lifeguard chair).

In hindsight, the rum punch pong was not the best idea for me. I think I just got carried away with the idea of rum punch pong on the beach in Margaritaville, because rum punch and I are not usually friends. I have had a bad experience before. But I am competitive, so I was not about to pass up a game. And I was certainly not about to pass up free drinks (we would have had to pay for them here otherwise.) Sherrie and I did start to split them, because it was just too much. But by that point I believe it was too late for me. Also, I had been drinking beer on the bus, and you know what they say…beer before liquor…

But it was all good!

After a while a very sunburnt man came over and wanted to play with us.


But we told him no. He needed to get out of the sun.

And then another man came over, and we assumed he wanted to play, but then it turned out that he just wanted to dance.


So, we did.

And then it was getting close to sunset time, so we had to leave Margaritaville, sadly. Our next stop was Rick’s Cafe, the most beautiful spot in Jamaica to watch the sunset.

And we met up with our friennnnnnds! (our actual friends, they were on the last stop of their tour)


I was so happy to see them!

In addition to the beautiful sunset, Rick’s Cafe is known for cliff jumping.


All the boys did it, and I reallllly wanted to, but Sherrie told me I was too intoxicated so I wasn’t allowed. So I watched from afar. Stupid rum punch.

But it was nice to hang with the girls in the glorious setting.


I am not sure who the girl is between Julie and Joanna, but we were makin’ new friends, as you can already tell (edit: this is a lie. That is Mark’s friend’s fiance Sarah and I do know who she is, I just didn’t recognize her in this pic and totally forgot we met up with her there…whooops. I was going to delete this whole paragraph but ah, it’s funny so I’m leaving it in.)

And then came the beautiful sunset, so it was time for all the lovers to have romantic sunset pictures.





And here is my romantic sunset picture with my lover.


I loved that server. And I am pretty sure she loved me.

Alright, here is my actual romantic sunset picture with my lovers Julie and Sherrie.


It really was a beautiful, beautiful sunset.

I’m glad I have this picture because I can barely remember it.

And then we headed back to the resort and partied some more. The End (for now…)