Tag Archives: fail

I’m a gif! In a…deodorant ad?

Yesterday I was alerted to this:

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On BuzzFeed, in an article called “13 People With So Much Confidence It Hurts.” A few people emailed me and asked if I had a twin appearing in this article, piggybacking that man. I just assumed everyone knew about this (because I’ve written about this quite a lot, probably enough to be annoying), but I guess I should clear this up. No twin, that is me.

In July 2012 I thought it would be funny to piggyback my groomsman into a wedding to spice up our entrance. I wrote a blog about the story and drew pictures to go with it (<- this link will take to you the story).

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Shortly after, the video appeared on YouTube (didn’t catch the hilarious bouquet part though, sadly).

Along with a bunch of inappropriate comments about my body (DON’T READ THEM, parents especially, don’t, I am warning you). Because the type of people who comment on YouTube tend to rely on body snarking for a cheap laugh, rather than writing an actual funny comment.

The first time someone wrote something along the lines of “Ummm maybe they should have practiced first LOL so dumb,” I went in there and attempted to defend myself. Because WE DID PRACTICE. Practicing was not the problem. It was a combination of many things, but practice was not one of them. But that was the only comment I wrote, because I quickly learned that you will never win a battle with a YouTube commentor.

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Anyway, after that happened the video went sliiiiiightly viral (not full-out viral, just a little viral), and I achieved a very small level of internet fame. The clip was also shown on several TV shows, most notably Ellen (I’m the first clip in the video below!).

I can’t even tell you how much this made my life! I only wish that I could have been on Ellen in person! Oh I would have died. I would have piggybacked Ellen right onto her set.

Anyway, I thought the attention had mostly died down now… but it would appear that I am still getting some mileage out of this video, and this video might actually be the serial killer in the movies that never dies. I don’t know if it will ever go away. So a year and a half later, here we are.

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I don’t think the scar that covers my entire right knee will ever go away either. Oh well, I guess worth it.

At first I was very excited about being on BuzzFeed, because I love that website and I would say I probably visit it daily. But then I looked closer at the article and noticed something interesting…

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It’s not really BuzzFeed, it’s BuzzFeed Partner, meaning it’s an ad. An ad for deodorant. The entire article is one big deodorant ad. My piggyback mishap is now being used to sell deodorant to suckers like you (and me!).

Anyway, no biggie. I just wanted to point this out. But Secret, since you did not ask my (or I am assuming the videographer’s) permission to use myself and our footage in your sneaky ad, I will tell you this for free. I was using (and regularly use) Dove deodorant. I just like it better. And it was the least of my concern that day. Maybe it was even the Dove deodorant that gave me confidence to do the piggyback in the first place. Who knows what came over me?

Ohh the internet. It is an interesting place.

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Well, cats and people falling.

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The Time I Was Trapped in a Cemetery

Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I got trapped in a cemetery? Nope, because it was two nights ago.

I’ve been trying to keep up with the running thing lately, and one place I really enjoy running is the Mount Pleasant Cemetery. It’s beautiful, really well maintained, and there are 14km of paved trails in there. It’s a designated Natural Historic Site of Canada, and there are statues, fountains, botanical gardens, and the “forest of memories.” Some parts of it are truly stunning, and it is the final resting place of many well-known Canadians, including William Lyon Mackenzie King and the Eaton’s.

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Eaton family crypt

So running in there is very interesting. Nearly my entire family on my mom’s side is buried in there as well, including my grandma and her parents, and their parents.

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Mom, this picture is for you!

Which was a weird coincidence that I discovered after I started running in there.

Anyway, to access the cemetery you can enter from three pedestrian entrances, or six gates connected to Yonge St, Mount Pleasant, or Bayview. To keep the hooligans out at night, these are all closed and padlocked, and the rest of the cemetery is surrounded by a tall, steel fence. With spikes.

I have run in there many times over the past year, and during the summer they usually close the gates around 9pm.

On Monday I hit up the cemetery a bit after 8pm and all was going well running-wise. Well, besides being a sweaty mess because it was insanely hot. After about half an hour I passed one of the gates on the furthest side of the cemetery from where I entered and I noticed it was locked. I thought it was weird, but I don’t ever use that gate so I thought it may have been unpopular and closed early. I kept running to the gate that I was planning on exiting from, while noting that I hadn’t seen anyone in a while and that was odd because usually the cemetery is busy with walkers/runners and cyclists. That gate too was locked. I ran to the gate I came in from. Locked. Uh oh.

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“What am I gonna do?” – I am saying this to myself in the voice we use to talk to my friend Dawn’s dog.

This was not a good sign. As much as I love the cemetery, it was starting to get dark and I did not want to spend the night in there (um, ghosts?!). But I figured I would get out somehow. I didn’t start really worrying until I came across a young couple who told me that if all the gates were locked we were probably stuck in there.

Awesome. Around that time, an older man on a bike rode past and said he was going to go check out the main gate and report back. We (the couple and I) followed The Biker on foot, and by the time we got to the main gate (locked), he had already hopped the fence with his bike and was on the other side on the street.

The fence was steel and taller than me. I can barely do a pushup with my knees down, so pulling myself up and over it would have been an impossible task with my lack of upper body strength. However, there was a brick pillar on the main gate, and a spot for a foothold on that pillar halfway up the fence. The only problem was at that spot there were giant steel spikes (to prevent people from climbing).

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It looked like this

The Biker on the other side of the fence pointed to the spot on the fence beside the pillar and yelled “HERE! You have to climb here!” and I didn’t see another option, so I stepped onto the pillar and began to pull myself over the fence. And here is how that went:

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And then The Biker appeared in front of me.

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I protested.

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I actually said this.

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So, I did.

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I managed to not impale myself or fall on my face, and I made it down safely. I don’t even think The Biker hurt his back too badly.

This all happened on a very busy street, so by this point a few people had gathered around (one other guy actually grabbed my hands at the last second to help me down), so that was not embarrassing at all. The couple was still inside the cemetery watching the whole thing, and when they saw my awkward fence jump, they decided to turn around and find somewhere easier to climb out. Kind of wish I stayed and went with them.

So what do you say to the complete stranger whose head you just wrapped your sweaty legs around? I didn’t know.

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Seemed appropriate. And then I walked home.

And that is the story of the time I got trapped in a cemetery.

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Internet Famous

Soo it would seem that I am kind of internet famous… Not for my writing, oh no no, that would be nice.

Nope…famous for the piggyback fail.

Welp, if I’m going to be known for something why not have it be falling on my face and flashing my fluorescent pink underwear to the world? I can think of a lot worse things to be famous for. (If you haven’t seen the video you can watch it here, and you can check out my illustrated version of the events here.)

I’ve already mentioned this, of course, but the attention has been increasing lately and it is a little bit mind-blowing, so I am bringing it up again.

The video has been on Good Morning America, Canada AM, MTV, Rude Tube (some British TV show), and apparently a television show in Ireland as well. And those are just the ones I know of, because they asked my permission to air it. It’s also been on a ton of websites, most notably BuzzFeed and Mashable, which I was super excited about because I check those sites pretty much daily. I also heard that there is a gif of it somewhere. Craziness.

The actual video on YouTube has about 155,000 views, which really isn’t THAT many, but people keep posting fail compilation videos on my Facebook wall and telling me I am in them. Two of which have over 1.5 million views.

I am the first clip in this one, and 38 seconds into this one. Both videos are hilarious. It is no wonder fails are so popular.

Most of the comments are about my physical appearance. And are wildly inappropriate. So that is awkward. It’s fine though, I truly do not embarrass easily, and you can call me ugly and fat or tell me I’m not funny and I probably won’t care (just don’t call me stupid). It’s just really weird to read anonymous strangers’ comments about my body. This situation has given me a little bit of insight into what celebrities deal with, and it’s weird and makes me thankful that I’m not actually famous. Just moderately internet famous.

Of all the places the video has appeared, this website is probably my favourite:

Their commentary just kills me. Though they called Woody a big dumb oaf and said that he just mounts me like a mule, which I felt bad about. I messaged him and made sure he was okay with all of this sudden attention because I had NO IDEA our piggyback fail would be this popular. No idea. Thankfully he thinks it’s as hilarious as I do, and he also does not embarrass easily and is fine with people commenting about his appearance.

In other news, I still have a massive scar that basically covers my entire right knee from this. I also have a small bump of scar tissue underneath my chin from hitting my face on the ground. I suspect both may be permanent battle scars. Ehh well.

But still, I do not regret this! Best story of my life!

I don’t know what the point of this post is… I just wanted to let you know that I’m famous. Let me know if you want an autographed photo or something.

(Edit: I’m not delusional enough to actually think that I am famous, I am heavily joking about that.)

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