I met Evan. Today is the anniversary of our first date.
Of course I have talked about this before, and you may already know the details. Or some of the details, at least. But, my friends, you don’t know the story. I am not sure I even know the story, or if there is even a story. I have never typed it out. But I am feeling all nostalgic and romantic, and I think it is good to have a record of the important moments in your life. So gather round and settle in for a little love story. Maybe make yourself a drink. I have a sneaking suspicion that it is going to get quite rambley, but we’re talking about love here so that is okay.
And so, one year ago today I met Evan. Well actually, I “met” him about one year and one week ago, online, on OKCupid.com. I had taken a little break from the whole online dating thing, as I wasn’t having great experiences (but that’s a whole other story…that I obviously blogged about…several times), but one night in mid-December last year I was feeling a little lonely, so on a whim I signed back up (but on a different dating site, I was originally using Plenty of Fish, but both POF and OKC are free so I guess of the same calibre). I was slightly skeptical of online dating at that point, and pretty wary of anyone who messaged me. I was putting the photos of the guys who had messaged me into Google image search (note to online daters: this is VERY IMPORTANT!) and in the mix of guys who contacted me I found an ex hockey player (for the Edmonton Oilers), a European soccer player (who was also a model), and Hayden Christensen.
Pretty sure Hayden Christensen was not actually messaging me on an online dating site.
So, needless to say, I wasn’t feeling confident about my luck online.
But… one of the people to message me within the first day of my re-sign up, right before I threw in the towel again, was Evan. And I don’t want to get all cliché and cheesy, but he really did write me the perfect “I’m breaking the ice here” note and just piqued my interest immediately. In my profile I had written, amongst other things, that I very much liked proper spelling and grammar, and if you wrote me a message that said “your beautiful” (my beautiful WHAT?) I would probably not respond. And Evan ended his first message to me with a simple:
“Oh, and also, you’re beautiful. See, I know my stuff.”
And while that may not seem like anything significant, for me I took that to mean that he knew his stuff spelling and grammar-wise, and also that he knew his stuff beauty-wise. So I liked that. And when I went over to check out his profile, I really liked what he had written there (in immaculate grammar and spelling), and I actually read every word before even looking at his pictures. And when I did look at his pictures, I saw this one:
And I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on in this photo (is that a chicken?), but I’m also not entirely sure how you say no to that cheeky face. I wanted to talk to him. (I need to note here that I told Evan last night that I NEEDED to have this photo but I could not tell him the reason why because he doesn’t know I’m writing this, and he searched for it for me for an entire hour and even broke out his way old laptop to eventually find it. That man just delivers, I tell you.)
So anyway, I responded. I don’t remember what I said, but we were quickly having novel conversations within the online dating messaging thing, and within a few days or so we took our online talking to texting. And you may think texting is unromantic or whatever and be of the mindset that the guy should always call the girl, but I personally would rather text. I really dislike talking on the phone, even with my very best friends. I feel like I have a hard time reading people if I can’t see their facial expressions and I am thrown off by tone of voice alone. In-person communication is my favourite, but texting is second best to me, because I love to write and I can read what you text me and interpret it however I want.
Anyway, I’m digressing (I’m sure that will be a theme here). Moving on. After about a week we decided we should probably meet up in person and just sorta see what happened. This was the week before the Christmas holidays, and I had three Christmas parties to attend, as well as my work’s Christmas cookie exchange (and I was making my Nana’s shortbread cookies which are VERY time consuming), so it was a really, really busy time. But Evan was going to be away for at least a week over the holidays and I had a bunch of festive things happening as well, so I knew I had to squeeze him in. We didn’t even have time for dinner, but we met for a drink around 9pm on a Tuesday evening. It couldn’t be late, we both had to work the next day, but we just needed to meet and get it out of the way to see…I don’t even know what. That we both existed? We were who we said we were? In-person chemistry? I don’t know. But we had to see.
The First Date
It was awkward at first, as all first dates are. I don’t think there is any way to get around that. We met in the middle of the street (at the corner of Yonge and Davisville, my old ‘hood) all bundled up in our winter coats and our scarves and our mitts and our hats and just kind of awkwardly patted each other on the shoulder in greeting and then decided that maybe we should hug. Again, bulky and awkward. But it didn’t feel creepy or anything, so that’s a good sign.
We walked to a pub (the Twisted Kilt, which has sadly since changed its name) on Yonge between Eglinton and Davisville.
Once we sat down, the conversation was easy. I can barely remember what we talked about, but I do I remember that we did not stop talking, and everything seemed to flow very naturally. Before I knew it, it was 11 and I had to leave if I didn’t want to be a zombie the next day. We walked together to the corner where we had originally met, arm in arm, and Evan being the gentleman that he is offered to walk me to my door but I was STILL a little wary because of the whole online thing, even though I knew he wasn’t a creepy stalker… So I declined. But I appreciated the offer, very much. And we hugged goodbye, just a standard hug. But Evan told me later that he THOUGHT I might like him because before I walked away I put my hand on his side (more accurately, on the side of his bulky coat) and let it linger there for a minute while I stood there and just smiled at him. I don’t remember this, but I guess sub-consciously I wanted to touch him? I feel like it is one of those Cosmo articles “How To Show Him You Like Him” – touch your hair, your collarbone, let your hand rest on his thigh… I know you know the article. Well I guess it’s legit!
First Date Aftermath
After our first date, I did not see him next for nearly two weeks. Christmas things, you know! But during that time we texted constantly. Really, a lot. Especially at night as we were going to bed. Probably to an annoying amount for anyone who knows me. I spent Christmas day with my good friend Sherrie watching Love Actually and Scrooged in our Pajamas and I kept getting texts from Evan and Sherrie saw his name come up on my phone and was all “Who is this Evan?!” and I didn’t know what to tell her! Of course I was honest and said it was someone who I had met online and had been on one date with, and so far so good and fingers crossed and all that… I played it off as pretty casual. But at that point I already felt like Evan was a game changer, I just didn’t know how to convey to anyone yet that he was a “person of interest”.
I think it was the week and a half between our first and second date that solidified things in my mind. We talked so much during that time that when I saw him again I felt like I knew him so well and we were just…on our way. I don’t know what else to say or how else to describe it. I felt comfortable and Evan felt familiar.
The Second Boozy Date
For our second date, we met downtown at the Tim Hortons at College Station and Evan brought his own little bottle of Kahula to sneakily spike our coffees. A surprise that won me over even further (perhaps some people would disagree and say bringing your own booze on your second date isn’t a great sign, but I really liked it and I thought it was thoughtful). He told me nothing of what we were doing. He just told me where to meet him and what time and that he would take care of the rest. I was intrigued but I figured we were just going bowling or something.
Nope. No bowling. After he sneakily spiked our coffees we took the street car to Allan Gardens, a huge greenhouse in Toronto. I had never been there before, but I was surprised at how big it was. It was almost tropical inside and it felt great to get rid of our jackets and winter apparel and walk around with our spiked coffees and look at all the plants and flowers as we talked.
Tres romantique. It was the most awesome and thoughtful date that I have ever been on. I thought it was so original. Way better than bowling. He also took me out for dinner to the 3 Brewers afterwards, a local brewery, which is not a fancy restaurant by any means but for me it was really perfect, as I love beer, and we got to try all the different kinds. It was a dream date, for sure.
Annnd we had our first kiss on the way home. All obnoxiously on the subway. If I didn’t know us and I saw us, I may have hated us. We were standing inside one of the door areas and I was so impressed and I thought he was so awesome and I just couldn’t handle it anymore so I just went for it. And it was awkward but nice, and then my giant purse slipped off my shoulder and brought the entire right side of my body down and that was the end of it. And that made us laugh hard.
And then…were we official?
We both deleted our profiles shortly after the second date. Which was funny actually because OKCupid asks for the reason of your profile deletion, and I just said I met someone offline because if you check online it asks for their username. I didn’t want to put in Evan’s username in case he got a notification or something, or a message saying “HEY! Lindsey is deleting her profile because she thinks you’re dating. IS THIS TRUE?!” but then when we talked about it later, Evan said he that he did actually check off that he met someone online and he put in my username… I guess he got shafted.
Before I left for Jamaica I wanted to make sure we were on the same page, so it was me who made the first move official-wise. Actually, I think I am very impatient and hate not knowing things, so I just made the first move to get it out of the way. I remember we were at my place hanging around and I was all “Soo…are you seeing anyone else?” even though I 100% knew he was not. And he confirmed and said he was not. And I said “Soo…do you maybe want to be my boyfriend?” all juvenille-like. I may as well passed him a note that said “Will you be my boyfriend? Check Yes, No or Maybe.”
A coworker of mine was asking me about this the other day and I told her that I was the one who essentially asked Evan to be my boyfriend, and she said “Oh, you must not have liked him very much then, if you were the one who asked. You wouldn’t have cared if he rejected you,” but that is not the case AT ALL. I asked because I already knew. I knew he was as into me as I was into him, I just wanted to make sure we both knew. I feel like it is important to be up front and honest and NOT play games. If you like someone, tell them. I’m not a fan of dicking around.
Anyway, he said yes, and now we live together, and happily ever after, and all that.
Our first photo together:
I have already raved on about how Evan is the best ever. But know that I think every day that I could easily add something to that list. He is SO thoughtful and he pays attention to the smallest details…IN THE BEST WAY. I don’t think I have ever known anyone to notice and appreciate all the things about me the way he does. He goes out of his way to make my life easier. He is the most supportive person I have ever encountered. He is always a step ahead of me. It’s like he knows I need something before I even know that I need it.
I just feel so overwhelmingly thankful that he found me on OKCupid and messaged me what he did and that I wrote back. Because otherwise I don’t think I could have met him. I doubt our paths would ever cross. And I am really trying not to get too cheesy, but he is 100% the best thing that has ever happened to me and I don’t think I could have even imagined someone who is as amazing as him.
I know that in the grand scheme of life one year isn’t a very long time, but maaaan has this year dragged on. Just kidding. It has gone by very quickly, and it has been amazing. I already cannot remember a time when Evan was not in my life. It’s good times. It is very good times.
Soo, how to end this?
How did you meet your significant other? I want to hear your loooove stories!