I still haven’t decided yet if I’m going to take Evan’s last name after we get married.
I keep going back in forth in my decision. I like the idea of taking Evan’s name (Furlanic), but I also like the idea of keeping mine (Evanoff). And I also like the idea of Evan taking my last name so he can officially be Evan Evanoff — that definitely has the best ring to it. Evan says that we should both change our last name’s to Evanon, haha.
It’s a big conundrum. I still really don’t know so I’m just going to go through some arguments. Maybe typing this out will make me come to a realization.
First of all, I like that I have the choice. I don’t have to take his last name. Sure it’s “tradition” but many brides these days keep their maiden name. Evan is pretty indifferent and says the decision is mine and he’s supportive no matter what I choose, which is great because I have heard stories of men being upset when their wives didn’t take their last name.
I like to think that I’m a feminist, so does taking Evan’s name make me less of one? Although, feminism is just having the same opportunities and choices as men, and again, I have a choice. So I don’t think I would choose to not take his last name just because I’m taking a feminist stand. That’s not a strong enough argument for me. I can still be a feminist and take his name, it’s my choice!
Always and forever.
Pronunciation-wise and weird-sounding-wise, our last name’s are kind of on the same page. It’s not like I would be going from Evanoff to a simpler last name like Smith or Jones or something. Whichever name I have people will still ask me where it originated from (although if I take Evan’s name they might stop assuming I’m Russian). I think our names are on the same page in uniqueness also, so I like that. I like that I wouldn’t be going from something unique to something common. I don’t know any other Evanoff’s and I don’t know any other Furlanic’s.
Hyphenating our last names is out of the question. My name is already quite a mouthful — Lindsey-anne Elizabeth. Can you imagine Lindsey-anne Elizabeth Evanoff-Furlanic? Gah! No. I thought about dropping my middle name and putting my last name in there instead and then taking Evan’s last name as mine, but my grandmother’s name was Elizabeth (my mom’s mom) so I want to keep it. So, there will be no keeping both.
Yes, I’m proud of my identity. Of course! But, I’m not overly attached to my last name — it’s only been a family name for a couple generations. My grandfather (my papa, Nana’s husband) changed our last name from Dimitroff to Evanoff when he came to Canada from Bulgaria because he wanted our last name to sound “less foreign” (pretty sure he should have just dropped the ‘off’ altogether if that was his goal, but anyway). But my Nana’s last name is Evanoff, my dad’s last name is Evanoff, and I’ve always liked being an Evanoff. Though at least if I change it my brother will still be an Evanoff so I’m not the end of the line!
At the same time, everyone knows me as Lindsey Evanoff. Many of my friends just call me Evanoff (which gets confusing sometimes because when they start saying my name Evan will assume they’re talking to him). Most of my friends will probably still just call me Evanoff though. Or Jug-jugs. It’s not like I’m totally erasing my identity.
I’ve been surprised when some of my childhood friends got married and immediately changed their names, but I don’t know why! Many of them were planning on doing that for years. I know some people dream of bring a Mrs. In my head though I will always associate them with their maiden names.
Professionally I don’t think it will harm me to change my name. Sure, I’m known in my field as me, but I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. Although it will be annoying for people at work to have to remember to call me a different name all of a sudden (and annoying to change my email). I thought about having two names, legally changing my name to Evan’s but keeping my own last name professionally, but that seems like it would get real confusing real quick.
I like that the name Evan, which is an important name in my family, will always be a part of me because of Evan. So it’s not like I’m losing that. I guess you can look at it like I’ll be Mrs. Evan Furlanic and then I’m sort of keeping part of my name!
If we have kids, I like the idea of us all having the same last name. Like we’re a solid family unit. Not that people who have parents with different last names are less of a family, but you know.
I like the idea of having the same name as my kids. I also like that for traveling and whatnot it would be clear I’m their mom because I share their name. Also, less questions and less explaining about our relationship in general. Same name is clearly husband and wife. That and the kid thing might be the biggest argument in favour of changing my name.
I don’t like that it is SUCH a hassle with endless paperwork to change your name. I’m lazy and that seems like it’s a serious headache-inducing task. The time consuming maze of paperwork is a big argument to not change my name.
Or maybe we could both change our last name’s to something like…Furlanoff.
Agh, I know it comes down to personal preference. Do what you feel. Do what’s right for you. But I still don’t know!!! I think after reading this I might be leaning towards changing it… Or not changing it? Ahh I just don’t know!
Married friends, did you change your name? Why or why not? I could use some insight!
I also really like my signature and wouldn’t be thrilled about having to change it!