Melon’s Pirate Houseboat Bachelorette

This past weekend we celebrated our beautiful friend Melon and her upcoming nuptials at her bachelorette party! Dawn, Melon’s sister and my good friend, wanted to plan something a little different than just going to the bar (if you have been reading for a while you probably know that it would be rare for any of my friends to only do a bar for a bachelorette), so we rented a houseboat. It was a dream weekend.

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What a sweet ride! I love that it was basically just a floating trailer.

You know we like the theme parties also, so I should mention…

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(from my Snapchat – happyorhungry)

Totally pirate themed. I was excited, I got that hat from the dollar store a few months ago and I had been saving it for this occasion.

The houseboat we rented was in Gananoque, about 20 minutes east of Kingston — if you don’t know Ontario geography, that be far. It took me about 4.5 hours to drive up from Toronto after work on Friday (which is actually pretty good for a Friday), and I arrived just in time for the sunset.

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It was beaut. Renting a houseboat has been on my radar for a while now. A few years ago a guy I used to work with got one with a bunch of his friends for a bachelor party and they took it around Vancouver Island for a few days. It sounded like the best time ever and it made me want to do it one day. He also told me that the marina at night was full of boats and it got so crazy with various boat parties it was like Vegas. I told the girls that but we were the only ones at the marina on Friday night so it was definitely nowhere near Vegas. No worries though, we know how to make our own fun.

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Our boat was super cute, pretty much a trailer inside as well, and it slept 10 people! I think it would be really fun to rent it with a few couples or families. I also cannot be on a boat without thinking of Lonely Island’s “I’m On A Boat!” (or Stepbrothers Boats n’ Hos), you know there were many of those references.

I was the last to arrive on Friday so once I got there we had a late dinner of pork and chicken souvlaki grilled on the boat’s barbecue, as well as pitas and salad. Brennie (Dawn and Melon’s mom) also made baklava and it was maybe one of the best things I’ve ever tasted.

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I need to hit Brennie up for that recipe so I can make it (or, let’s be serious, Evan will make it).

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Melon and her baklava

We hung out and talked for a while and played some Dirty Minds, which by the way is SUPER sexist.

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A woman shakes hands sitting down? WTF is that? And what is this housewives nonsense? Ugh, dislike.

Anyway, it ended up being a fairly early night so we could prepare for the shenanigans ahead.

On Saturday morning I was the first up for a while so I read my book outside with a coffee ( I brought one of those bottles of Starbucks iced coffee — thanks for introducing that to me Paula!). It was really peaceful and nice. I saw a turtle…

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And a bunch of large fish either fighting or mating by the shore. It was entertaining.

Once the girls got up Dawn convinced us all to do a 21 Day Fix workout with her. I was not planning on working out on the boat, I was planning on eating and drinking and laying around…but I’m glad we did it.

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My legs were sore for a good two days, that workout was no joke.

Once that was over with we set sail!

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So, fun fact, to rent a houseboat a boater’s license is not required. I was surprised about this, that it’s all good if no one has ever driven a 33 foot boat before. Or any boat! No boating experience required! But we could go only max 8km an hour so how much damage could we do? We had insurance just in case. I am proud to report that the only casualty of the weekend was my old iPhone that I use for music. It was plugged into the sound system (you can see it in the pic above) and it fell from its perch, landed above the steering wheel and immediately bounced out the door and into the water. It wasn’t an ideal situation but no biggie — I have all the music backed up and that phone was super old.

Anyway, the biggest thing with the boat was the steering as it was a super delayed reaction when you turned the wheel so it was really easy to overcompensate and suddenly be going in zigzags.

Our plan was to drive the boat to Kingston, about two ours at our pace, and pick up Emily, Joanna, Leanne and Julie who had driven up that morning.

It was the most gorgeous day and it was the perfect weather for boat riding. We stopped once and anchored around Mermaid Island to eat breakfast (pancakes and bacon, yessss), but the rest of the time we sailed the high seas!

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Mona got me a megaphone for my birthday last year and it came in reeeeeeal handy for yelling at passing boats.

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It even had a siren on it.

Eventually we made it to Kingston without incident.

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However, docking at the Kingston marina was quite a stressful situation. I already mentioned the steering issue, none of us really knew what we were doing, and then a big yacht was parked in the boat slip that we were told to dock in (with all the other fancy yachts, and then there was our trailer).

Luckily a few men saw us coming in and thought that we might need some help (I was driving and wearing the pirate hat so I’m sure I looked like I knew what I was doing and I can’t imagine why they would assume otherwise), and they actually ran over from the opposite side of the marina to help us dock. It was the second time that day that men literally chased us down to help us (the first time we were trying to find Mermaid Island to anchor at and a father son duo in a fishing boat chased us down to point it out to us). It was really nice of the marina guys to help us and we insisted on giving them a gift for their thoughtfulness and generosity: cards with scantily clad ladies from the 1970s on them. I’m sure it was appreciated. We certainly appreciated their reaction to the cards. I’d show you a picture but my NSFW stuff is designated for snapchat. Here’s the marina instead.

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Once we docked we hung out and waited for the rest of our friends to come aboard. Once they found us we got into all our pirate gear…

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Emily even brought Pirate Jem along with her…

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I’m aware I spelled Jem wrong on my snap. I used to have that same Jem when I was about three or four, I remember her earrings lit up! She was the best.

We set sail again and cruised out to an island about a half hour boat ride away and anchored there for the rest of the afternoon.

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We hung out on the roof and did the gift/game thing — the usual bachelorette shenanigans, you know.

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Melon had quite the treasure map of activities to complete that evening, all leading to POUTINE! (we did get poutine at the end of the night, mine had bacon in it and I could not get over how delicious it was).

Afterwards we just hung out on the roof in the sunshine. I really, really wanted to swim. It was hot and the water looked amazing and I just needed to be in it. Someone mentioned they didn’t bring a bathing suit and I couldn’t believe it. I have one in my car in the WINTER because you never know when a dream swimming situation might pop up and I don’t want to miss out! Anyway, I went in and I ended up being the only one, but in everyone’s defense the water was extremely cold (colder than the Bruce Peninsula I think) and the boat people forgot to put the ladder on the boat to get out. Getting back on the boat was quite the adventure and I still have bruises on my knees. It was worth it to be submerged in that refreshing water though.

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In the late afternoon we sailed back to Kingston to get ready for dinner. From the marina we walked over to the Pilot House.

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A pub with a nautical theme, so it seemed appropriate.

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I ordered the chicken fingers and I remember them being really good!

This man said it was his dream to lay across our table and who are we to deny him of that.

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One of Melon’s treasure map missions was to get Brennie (her mom, I’ll remind you) airlifted, so later on we got him and his friend to help with that. An easy one to complete!

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I like how the man on the right is wearing one of our pirate bandanas.

After that it was bar time and the usual shenanigans went down. My friends are crazy and I love it. Super fun night with these ladies.

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The details might be a bit fuzzy for me…but I’ll never forget my bacon poutine. The next morning we drove the boat back to our marina in Gananoque — it was raining and the water was crazy wavy and I totally got seasick, but this weekend was the best time and I would not mind repeating it! Melon, I hope you had your dream bachelorette!

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One response to “Melon’s Pirate Houseboat Bachelorette

  1. As a lady who has spent a lot of time in a marina, I should tell you that helping other boats dock is like the unwritten etiquette of marina life. Right next to coming up with embarrassing call signs on the CB radio.

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