The Porpoise Proposal

Thank you so much for all your comments about Evan making an honest woman out of me. They made me so happy. I read them to Evan last night and we both feel very lucky to have so many people love our love. And don’t feel weird or creepy if you haven’t met us. I read blogs, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re friends with someone you’ve never met or be excited about something awesome happening to basically a stranger. I loved Paula and Fabian’s love before I met Paula and Fabian (and I love it even more after meeting them!). You’re not alone!

I was originally going to save the proposal story for last, but I can’t do that to you. How evil would that be? Who wants to read about what types of beans we ate with our rice when I have a juicy engagement story! I’d rather write about this anyway. The beans can wait. Love comes first. Also, I LOVE proposal stories. They are my absolute favourite. The first question I ask anyone if they have gotten engaged is “How did he propose?!” I’m sure many of you feel the same. It’s a moment you’ll remember forever, so it’s important.

So on Thursday, our second last day of vacation, Evan and I decided we were going to have a late dinner that night and swim in the ocean as the sun was setting. It was Evan’s idea but I didn’t suspect anything was going to happen because we’re both huge fans of swimming, in the ocean, or a dirty lake, or in any type of water anywhere, and who doesn’t love a beautiful sunset, so it was a totally natural suggestion.

We did the snorkeling and cave excursion in the morning and just when we were finishing snorkeling, Evan found the most perfect empty but intact clam shell spread on the sand on the bottom of the ocean. He dove down and got it and was so excited about this clam shell. He was going on about how perfect it was and at the time I did not understand what was so great about the clam shell. I mean, it was a nice shell and I was happy for him that he found a clam shell that he really liked, but we’ve found other shells and I had never seen him get so excited over one…

Anyway, we came back from our excursion, had lunch, hung out by the pool for a bit, and then set up shop on the beach. We read our books, drank Cuba Libres (rum and cola with lime) and got in and out of the ocean as we waited for the sun to set.

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Evan was not acting weird at all, that I noticed, but he did pretend to run to the bathroom and instead went back to our room to get the ring from the safe (I didn’t know this at the time). As the sun got lower in the sky we got into the ocean and frolicked around for a bit. I brought the waterproof camera because I wanted to take pictures of us doing doing water yoga in front of the sunset (ha!!!!). I took this photo…

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and then I went underwater after and when I came back up Evan was on one knee (although I couldn’t really tell and I thought he was just kneeling on the bottom), he said to me “Sweetie, you know that I want to have adventures like this with you forever…” and out came that clam shell he found, and then it opened, and there was the ring (tied to a leather shoelace wrapped around the clam and then tethered to himself because he is cautious and bringing a meaningful ring in the ocean is definitely out of character for him). It took me a minute to process what was happening and I think I said “Is this what’s happening right now?!” and I think he nodded and then I don’t know, we were hugging and there were tears but you couldn’t tell because we were already wet. And he said other romantic things and asked me to marry him and he put that amazing ring on my finger and it fit so perfectly and I know it sounds ridiculous but I felt like I had always been wearing it. I took it off for a minute afterwards so I could really look at it and my finger felt weirdly bare without it. And I have really fat fingers! Since we were kids my best friend’s sister has always called them Simpsons fingers because they are stubby like the Simpsons’ fingers. I couldn’t believe the ring actually fit.

I am not a big jewellery person. I don’t wear a lot of it and I’m not diamond savvy, and I absolutely did not want some huge flashy ring weighing down my finger. I do not believe the size/style/expense of your engagement ring indicates how good your relationship is or how much your fiance loves you. It’s a symbol and that’s all. But honestly, my ring.

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I could not possibly love it any more. It is more perfect than I ever could have imagined. I love how pretty and unique it is! About a year ago I saw a picture of a pear-shaped diamond ring and I mentioned to Evan that I liked the look of it, and he remembered it and went from there. His whole design is incredible. I love the crossed band. I can’t stop looking at it, even now.

People keep asking me if I suspected anything or if I knew a proposal was coming, and well, yeah, a little. I wasn’t blindsided, we had talked pretty extensively about our future and what that looked like for us and I knew marriage was in our plans. So I knew, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know when it was going to happen. Apparently he’s had the ring since February that sneaky minx, and I had NO IDEA. He even arranged a sly meetup with my dad to ask him for his blessing, and again I had no idea. Looking back there were a few things that were suspicious, but only on our trip. Evan brought a carry-on in addition to his suitcase, which he NEVER does (he had the ring in an envelope and wrote on it “RING, be discreet” so airport security wouldn’t harass him), and when we got to the hotel our room wasn’t ready yet so we changed into our bathing suits to go to the beach and put our suitcases in a locked room, and Evan continued to lug around his carry-on with him. I was all “Why don’t you leave that?” and he was like “Oh I don’t mind carrying it…” because he didn’t want to leave the ring behind! I thought for a second, but I didn’t want to dwell on it because I just wanted to enjoy our trip without any expectations of anything.

And the clam shell!

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No wonder he liked it so much. It still had the little hinge intact so it would open like a ring box. Evan had brought another shell with him to propose with but it wasn’t nearly as good. He said when he saw this shell so perfectly open on the sand he knew it was fate and that he was meant to propose that day. That made me tear up.

I am glad he waited to propose like this, it was the perfect moment. I love that it happened in the water! Evan’s nickname is Porpoise or Porpy because he’s such a graceful swimmer — all his friends and family call him Porpy, and I grew up on a lake swimming every day. Swimming has been an important part of both of our lives. So that was amazing. Afterwards we watched the most beautiful sunset as we admired how my ring glittered in the golden sunlight and talked about when we knew we would get married (we both said we knew by our second date).

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And we had a little photo shoot (but we were not doing yoga).

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You know, I met Evan a few months before I turned 30. When we get married I will probably be 34. I know a lot of people are lucky to meet the loves of their lives early on, and maybe it’s even their first love. But I think a lot of people are like me. I needed to muddle through dating people who were totally wrong for me and made me feel insecure and not like myself, and would have made pretty crap life partners when I think about it (not something I was thinking about when I was younger and living in the moment). I learned a lot of lessons before I found Evan (or he found me, as he likes to say). I would like to think that if I met Evan 1o years ago that I would have appreciated him for everything that he is, but I honestly don’t feel like I would have had the emotional capacity to be able to. I think I needed those lessons, like a necessary evil. I needed to be with someone who was wrong for me so I would know and appreciate when I met someone who was so incredibly right for me. It took those relationships for me to understand what I want and need in a partner, and to respect myself enough to hold out for those standards. 10 years ago I don’t think I could have imagined someone loving me the way Evan loves me, or someone treating me the way that Evan treats me. And I don’t think I could have pictured loving someone as much as I love Evan.

So I am glad I met Evan when I did, and I am glad everything that has happened since happened the way it did. I still have my entire life ahead of me and I am so incredibly happy and thankful that I get to spend it adventuring with my lover the Porpoise (who is the best ever, as you may know).

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And finally people can stop asking us when it’s going to happen. Jesus.

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49 responses to “The Porpoise Proposal

  1. Lindsay, I am just one of those random blog readers that doesn’t know you in real life but I was SO excited when I saw this on instagram and reading this blog post makes me feel ALL THE FEELINGS for you. So happy for you both, you make an incredible couple.

  2. Yes! All the feels!!!! I am so so happy for you. It’s the absolute perfect proposal.

    Can you please write about when you guys fight so I feel more normal about my life? 😉 Seriously, though, you two are completely suited to each other, and I’m so happy you’re making it official!

  3. So sweet and so exciting! I am so happy for you guys and wish you all the best. It’s wonderful when you meet a guy like Evan (or for me, Geoff) who treats you like a queen and is an amazing partner in life. Hooray for love!

  4. Awww, I love your love! And that last line…I laughed out loud. So excited for you two! Although, I kinda feel like you are already married. Did you bring the new kitty home yet?

  5. Your porpoise is so romantic! Love it! I’m a blog/stranger-friend, but you know my sister Erin in real life, through when you worked with her on some OFSSA stuff, so I don’t feel creepy for getting so excited for you! LOL Congrats again. Can’t wait to follow along with all the wedding planning stuff!

  6. This is making me tear up!! So happy for you both. So happy to get to read such a sweet love story. And you’re so spot on about having to live through the wrong before you can have a deeper appreciation for what’s right. I feel the exact same way.

    Congrats again you two cuties!!!

  7. I’m another random reader that doesn’t know you and I’m so EXCITED for you!

    Looking forward to reading about the wedding plans and I had a little giggle about people asking when it’s going to happen because it doesn’t stop. Next it will be “when is it going to happen” re the pitter patter of little feet!

    • Oh man I know, it’s never ending. “When are you getting married?” “Have you set a date for the wedding?” “When are you going to have a baby?” “Are you going to have a second?”

      Also, happy 6 months in Canada! My Aussie friend just celebrated one year here last weekend. I think she is ready for some warm weather to get here…

  8. I’m crying at work, Canadian Lindsey (my sister is also Lindsey, so I always call you this when I talk about you, LOL)! Thanks a lot 😉

    P.S. I didn’t realize that Chris was kneeling, either, when he proposed to me. And he was so nervous that he mumbled the question, and I also said, “Is this what we’re doing right now?” LOL.

  9. texasmelrose2

    Yes, yes, yes! I am so beyond happy for you both! I have loved following your relationship and you and Evan could not be more perfect for each other! It’s fate! I cannot wait to keep following along on your future adventures and cannot wait to hear all about the wedding plans and see pics of the wedding! Eeek so exciting! And that ring…perfection! <3
    Ha, I also love your last sentence. People can be annoying with that crap. Prepare for the "when are you having a new addition?" questions. Ugh. Again, so very happy for you guys! I love everything about your love!

  10. I could not possibly be happier for you!!

  11. bahahaha…excellent closing remarks. I am BEYOND excited for Evan to be legally bound to us for LIIIIFE! Oh that clam shell…what a sneaky minx.

  12. Erin @ A Flimsy Plan

    This is such a beautiful exciting post – and so on trend for everything I feel like I know about Evan from your previous posts!

    I want to thank you for those last couple paragraphs too… I’ve been in a super-weird emotional place when it comes to my romantic life for the past six or so months and I’m 29 now so it just really resonated with me. Like, really really. So thank you.

  13. YAAAAY!!! I saw this on Instagram and settled for just liking the photo because I felt like such a weird creeper writing something. But now that you’ve said its ok I can let my creeper flag fly! I’ve read your blog for so long now and I’ve always felt we could totally be friends. We’ve gone through similar things at the same time, and I loved reading your online dating adventures because I was having them too! I actually met my husband around the same time you met Evan, and from the beginning, I think all your readers knew you two would get married. Congrats to the BOTH of you (Hi, Evan!), and much love to you on this next adventure ❤️

    • Let it fly!!! I feel like we’re already friends just from the comments you have left over the years, haha.

      Thanks so much! I remember thinking that your husband (then boyfriend I think?) was a serious keeper when he got your a bottle of bacon infused olive oil for Valentine’s Day. That is romance right there.

      • Holy crap, I cannot believe you remember that!!

        If I am remembered from one comment, I’m proud it was about bacon infused olive oil.

  14. Agh, loved reading this. I’ve been following along since before you even met Evan and all this time have been thinking how great you are together. Everything you wrote about your experiences pre-Evan shaping you and preparing you for this relationship totally ring true for me as well. Helps to have someone else articulate it to know I’m not alone!

  15. Agreed! I’m also very excited and happy for you both!!!

  16. Awe so perfect! You made me tear up. I can’t wait to hear all about your wedding plans! I also can relate, I’m 35 and it took a few “wrong” guys before finding someone who was right for me. It is so nice to know I’m not alone, as most of my friends seemed to find the right guys before they were 20, which is awesome for them, but I know I wasn’t ready yet.

    Congrats again on the engagement and cheers to you and Evan’s future!

  17. I feel all mushy reading this. I love proposal stories! And I feel a total creeper connection to you two – I’ve lived in both Toronto and Belleville.

    I absolutely agree with your thoughts on dating and life partners. I muddled through dating in my younger years and had a lot of self-growth to do before I was ready to get married and be a good partner to someone. I met my husband when I was 30 and we got married when I was 32 (we’ve been married almost 3 months right now). There are times when I wish we had some of those younger experiences together and more time. But in reality, I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I my earlier days were different.

    I’m also weirdly interested to see your wedding planning and all the shenanigans you and your friends will get into. Ha!

    • Congratulations newlyweds!!!
      I hear you, I sometimes wish we had time in our younger years too, or a romantic high school sweethearts story or something (not that meeting online isn’t romantic), but who knows who we were then and if we would have been compatible together. Exactly, I needed those experiences (some of them crappy) to be who I am today.

      I am sure there will be a lot of wedding-related shenanigans 🙂

  18. I read you whenever you post, but I don’t comment. I’m lazy I guess! But I think that you two are so cute, and it’s adorable how he proposed and pulled it all off.

    I was lucky to meet my “half orange” (how they say soulmate in Spanish) early on, but I had to go across an ocean to find him. And, like you guys knew after the second date, I knew after the first week. This was it for me!

    Congratulations again 🙂

  19. Congratulations! I’m one of those readers who feels like they know you (I’ve been reading for a long time but have only commented a couple of times) and I’m so happy for the both of you! It also means a lot to read what you wrote about having previous relationships teaching you a lot so you could fully appreciate Evan and his love; It gives me hope for the future 🙂 Congrats again!

  20. Great proposal story. Well done, E!
    I hope your blog will also contain some of the hot mess that will be wedding prep – I have some epic dress fail photos and horrifying wedding decor ideas from ours that if I had been a blogger, would have been pure gold.
    Thrilled for you both.

    • Oh I am SURE there will be some sort of planning disasters. Though I do think we are going to do the destination wedding route so we won’t have quite as many details to sort through… We shall see. Thank you!

  21. Congratulations. Long time reader, first time commenter. My husband proposed in front of Wrigley Field (b/c he knew it is one of my favorite places on earth) and I was so shocked that I hit him upside the head and asked if he was serious. We had been dating for 6+ years (living together for 4) so I assumed that I would *know* when he was getting ready to pop the question. But nope, had no idea. Anyhow, about people asking when you are going to “finally” get married – it doesn’t stop. As soon as you get married people start asking when you are having kids. I have found that if you respond with a, “Oh, kids? You can totally put those in a crate like a dog and leave the house, right?” that shuts them up pretty fast. Seriously, congratulations – it is a cool thing when you finally find the person that you want to spend your life with.

  22. Haaaaaa congratulations! I’m so happy for you both (and have been waiting for that announcement FOR EVER! Yay!

  23. Yay! Congrats! I’m definitely in the camp in thinking that some of author’s of my favorite blogs are my friends (or at least would be if I met them in real life). I sent this post to one of my best friend’s who is going through a break up (wait for it, I know a proposal post sounds counter-intuitive for someone in that situation) but what you wrote about having to go through sucky relationships to get to appreciate a good one when you find it really resonated with me. We’re both in our late twenties and looking for our own porpoises. Thanks for sharing and giving hope to us “old” broads!

  24. I too totes feel like I “know you”! Your engagement story gave me allllllll the feels & I am just SO over the moon for you two! What a beautiful engagement story! I sent my BF the link and he loved it too. We have tons in common – SO Many bad one to finally find a great one – well worth the (painful) wait. (And we both knew we were each other’s ‘the one’ on our second date too!). ❤️ Best wishes for all things awesome. 😀

  25. YESSS. I am so excited for you two. If you need to chat wedding planning give me a holler. Like 50 days from mine and I can tell you all my mistakes. heh. Mazel tov! I love it!

  26. Hi Lindsey, I’ve never commented, but I’ve been reading forevs. I’m so happy for you! And as a single lady in her 20s it’s really encouraging to hear that the hilariously horrific dating experiences I’m going through now might someday pay off if/when I meet my Evan. Also, way to go Evan for setting a standard we can all strive for! Thanks for sharing xoxo

  27. Another longtime reader here–I never really comment but wow, I am so happy for you and Evan!! I remember when you first talked about him on the blog. I thought he seemed like such a sweet, genuine person from the start! This might sound cheesy but I actually kind of teared up a bit reading what you wrote about having to go through bad relationships to be ready for it. I just got engaged a few months ago and I can’t agree more. So, so happy for you two. Engagement and a new cat! So much happiness in the air!

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