Thank you so much for all your comments about Evan making an honest woman out of me. They made me so happy. I read them to Evan last night and we both feel very lucky to have so many people love our love. And don’t feel weird or creepy if you haven’t met us. I read blogs, I know what it’s like to feel like you’re friends with someone you’ve never met or be excited about something awesome happening to basically a stranger. I loved Paula and Fabian’s love before I met Paula and Fabian (and I love it even more after meeting them!). You’re not alone!
I was originally going to save the proposal story for last, but I can’t do that to you. How evil would that be? Who wants to read about what types of beans we ate with our rice when I have a juicy engagement story! I’d rather write about this anyway. The beans can wait. Love comes first. Also, I LOVE proposal stories. They are my absolute favourite. The first question I ask anyone if they have gotten engaged is “How did he propose?!” I’m sure many of you feel the same. It’s a moment you’ll remember forever, so it’s important.
So on Thursday, our second last day of vacation, Evan and I decided we were going to have a late dinner that night and swim in the ocean as the sun was setting. It was Evan’s idea but I didn’t suspect anything was going to happen because we’re both huge fans of swimming, in the ocean, or a dirty lake, or in any type of water anywhere, and who doesn’t love a beautiful sunset, so it was a totally natural suggestion.
We did the snorkeling and cave excursion in the morning and just when we were finishing snorkeling, Evan found the most perfect empty but intact clam shell spread on the sand on the bottom of the ocean. He dove down and got it and was so excited about this clam shell. He was going on about how perfect it was and at the time I did not understand what was so great about the clam shell. I mean, it was a nice shell and I was happy for him that he found a clam shell that he really liked, but we’ve found other shells and I had never seen him get so excited over one…
Anyway, we came back from our excursion, had lunch, hung out by the pool for a bit, and then set up shop on the beach. We read our books, drank Cuba Libres (rum and cola with lime) and got in and out of the ocean as we waited for the sun to set.
Evan was not acting weird at all, that I noticed, but he did pretend to run to the bathroom and instead went back to our room to get the ring from the safe (I didn’t know this at the time). As the sun got lower in the sky we got into the ocean and frolicked around for a bit. I brought the waterproof camera because I wanted to take pictures of us doing doing water yoga in front of the sunset (ha!!!!). I took this photo…
and then I went underwater after and when I came back up Evan was on one knee (although I couldn’t really tell and I thought he was just kneeling on the bottom), he said to me “Sweetie, you know that I want to have adventures like this with you forever…” and out came that clam shell he found, and then it opened, and there was the ring (tied to a leather shoelace wrapped around the clam and then tethered to himself because he is cautious and bringing a meaningful ring in the ocean is definitely out of character for him). It took me a minute to process what was happening and I think I said “Is this what’s happening right now?!” and I think he nodded and then I don’t know, we were hugging and there were tears but you couldn’t tell because we were already wet. And he said other romantic things and asked me to marry him and he put that amazing ring on my finger and it fit so perfectly and I know it sounds ridiculous but I felt like I had always been wearing it. I took it off for a minute afterwards so I could really look at it and my finger felt weirdly bare without it. And I have really fat fingers! Since we were kids my best friend’s sister has always called them Simpsons fingers because they are stubby like the Simpsons’ fingers. I couldn’t believe the ring actually fit.
I am not a big jewellery person. I don’t wear a lot of it and I’m not diamond savvy, and I absolutely did not want some huge flashy ring weighing down my finger. I do not believe the size/style/expense of your engagement ring indicates how good your relationship is or how much your fiance loves you. It’s a symbol and that’s all. But honestly, my ring.
I could not possibly love it any more. It is more perfect than I ever could have imagined. I love how pretty and unique it is! About a year ago I saw a picture of a pear-shaped diamond ring and I mentioned to Evan that I liked the look of it, and he remembered it and went from there. His whole design is incredible. I love the crossed band. I can’t stop looking at it, even now.
People keep asking me if I suspected anything or if I knew a proposal was coming, and well, yeah, a little. I wasn’t blindsided, we had talked pretty extensively about our future and what that looked like for us and I knew marriage was in our plans. So I knew, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know when it was going to happen. Apparently he’s had the ring since February that sneaky minx, and I had NO IDEA. He even arranged a sly meetup with my dad to ask him for his blessing, and again I had no idea. Looking back there were a few things that were suspicious, but only on our trip. Evan brought a carry-on in addition to his suitcase, which he NEVER does (he had the ring in an envelope and wrote on it “RING, be discreet” so airport security wouldn’t harass him), and when we got to the hotel our room wasn’t ready yet so we changed into our bathing suits to go to the beach and put our suitcases in a locked room, and Evan continued to lug around his carry-on with him. I was all “Why don’t you leave that?” and he was like “Oh I don’t mind carrying it…” because he didn’t want to leave the ring behind! I thought for a second, but I didn’t want to dwell on it because I just wanted to enjoy our trip without any expectations of anything.
And the clam shell!
No wonder he liked it so much. It still had the little hinge intact so it would open like a ring box. Evan had brought another shell with him to propose with but it wasn’t nearly as good. He said when he saw this shell so perfectly open on the sand he knew it was fate and that he was meant to propose that day. That made me tear up.
I am glad he waited to propose like this, it was the perfect moment. I love that it happened in the water! Evan’s nickname is Porpoise or Porpy because he’s such a graceful swimmer — all his friends and family call him Porpy, and I grew up on a lake swimming every day. Swimming has been an important part of both of our lives. So that was amazing. Afterwards we watched the most beautiful sunset as we admired how my ring glittered in the golden sunlight and talked about when we knew we would get married (we both said we knew by our second date).
And we had a little photo shoot (but we were not doing yoga).
You know, I met Evan a few months before I turned 30. When we get married I will probably be 34. I know a lot of people are lucky to meet the loves of their lives early on, and maybe it’s even their first love. But I think a lot of people are like me. I needed to muddle through dating people who were totally wrong for me and made me feel insecure and not like myself, and would have made pretty crap life partners when I think about it (not something I was thinking about when I was younger and living in the moment). I learned a lot of lessons before I found Evan (or he found me, as he likes to say). I would like to think that if I met Evan 1o years ago that I would have appreciated him for everything that he is, but I honestly don’t feel like I would have had the emotional capacity to be able to. I think I needed those lessons, like a necessary evil. I needed to be with someone who was wrong for me so I would know and appreciate when I met someone who was so incredibly right for me. It took those relationships for me to understand what I want and need in a partner, and to respect myself enough to hold out for those standards. 10 years ago I don’t think I could have imagined someone loving me the way Evan loves me, or someone treating me the way that Evan treats me. And I don’t think I could have pictured loving someone as much as I love Evan.
So I am glad I met Evan when I did, and I am glad everything that has happened since happened the way it did. I still have my entire life ahead of me and I am so incredibly happy and thankful that I get to spend it adventuring with my lover the Porpoise (who is the best ever, as you may know).
And finally people can stop asking us when it’s going to happen. Jesus.