Today is my very very good friend Dawn’s 30th birthday.
If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time you are probably familiar with Dawnald and her shenanigans because she pops up around here all the time and in nearly all my outings. We have been friends since the very first day of Grade 9. She has been my partner in crime many, many times over the years. She practically lived at my house during the summers in high school, and a healthy amount of chaos found us. Like when we sunk the rowboat.
And when we got stuck in the subway door.
To name just two of, honestly, hundreds of adventures I have found myself in with her (and not drawn pictures of…someday!).
Let me tell you a little bit about Dawn. She is a minx to the ninth degree. At least. She is the first person to take things in a family setting to R-Rated territory (so is her mom, so I see where it comes from), and she is 100% the instigator/shit disturber when we are out and about. And I really do mean that in the best way possible. Really.
At some point in time while reading my blog, you maybe have said to yourself “Oh, that Lindsey sure seems like she would be a fun time,” and I hope you have, because I like to think I am a fun time (mostofthetime), and I’m pretty proud of that. But believe me when I say that Dawn takes my fun to a whole new level. She takes my fun and she builds on it and it multiplies by 8 bagillion levels (mostly levels of inappropriateness). She makes me laugh like no other, and I tend to be a little more “on” when she is around. She is one of my favourite people to get a reaction out of, so I will do ridiculous things for the sole purpose of making her laugh.
Our group of friends would not be the same without her. We are all weird, for sure, and we definitely all feed off of each other (and we always have) but it is Dawn who pushes that envelope. Well, I also push the envelope. But Dawn pushes the envelope so hard that it is bursting. The envelope is definitely bursting, but no one seems to mind (except club bouncers, they do mind).
But for an example, who else would take these kinds of pictures for their engagement photos?
And then their wedding photos?
Well alright, I hope to. I don’t want to be completely normal, cheesy, romantic either. But I’ll just never naturally be able to be at that level.
And would I feel the need to tug on a strange man’s mustache without her present?
Welllll, maybe that man’s, yes.
And so Dawn is 30. And ohh it seems like just yesterday we were cramming into the basement of her parents house with our pop and our chips and, well, her parents, to wish her a big 14.
I know that her 30th could not be what she envisioned (us getting kicked out of the bar due to intoxication and shenanigans I am pretty sure is what she envisioned), as she is pregnant and obviously we’re responsible (more because she’s pregnant than us being responsible). But 30 is a big year and in terms of events this has been Dawn’s BIGGEST year. She got married (in Jamaica, and whooo was that a time and a half), she got knocked up (by Robbie the creep…but actually her husband Mark, who is only slightly creepy), she bought a new house (a forever home if I do say so myself. And I do say so because it has a tiki hut. You do not move out of a house that has a tiki hut). And now she is turning thirrrrrrrrty.
So although she couldn’t celebrate with alcohol, we still could, and I think we gave her a night on Friday to remember.
We all met at what is my personal favourite pub in the Durham Region, The Waltzing Weasel. I like it for several reasons. It has great pub food (exhibit A), it has beautiful decorations at Christmastime (exhibit B), there’s a live band which usually consists of a fine young gent who doesn’t mind being harassed by us too much (exhibit C which is the same post as exhibit B), and it is ALWAYS, ALWAYS a fun time (exhibit D – and exhibit D is actually St. Paddy’s Day so maybe a little extra fun, but still fun, all the time).
The Waltzing Weasel. Friday night, it was the place to be.
10 points to the first person who can spot Evan’s severed head in this picture (points to what, I do not know).
We all came out to celebrate. Including our new friend Kyle.
Kyle (named Kyle because he looks like Dawn’s sister’s boyfriend Kyle) is between Dawn and I and was given to Dawn by her loving husband Mark (who is pretending to rub his nipular area in the above photo). By the way, this camera angle adds 10 pounds.
Dawn received some other lovely presents…
She HATES coffee, so that is the inside joke behind this…shower coffee maker. Which actually doesn’t exist, but is a joke box from Walmart. Pretty clever though, right? It had us all going.
Evan and I opted for something useful, yet traditional. The original Bedazzler. So she can bedazzle all her baby clothes!
And a magnet of Dawn’s favourite man of all time (was at one time her FB profile picture so when I stumbled across that in a Buffalo Target I knew I scored big). And the Bedazzler, by the way, is early 90s original. There is this hilarious convenience store near us that has not been restocked since then (I promise no exaggeration), and there are some GEMS in there. Maybe I talked about this before. And we may be clearing them out…
Actually, before I leave that topic, we found an awesome squirrel picture for Joel. It wasn’t his birthday, but I thought he needed a present.
And long story but…in Grade 9 Joel was over at my house and my brother found a baby squirrel in our yard, and when Joel’s dad came to collect him we offered him the squirrel. For some reason his dad was very excited about this and they took the squirrel home and named the squirrel “Nuts”. Nuts lived for like four years in their house. In a cage in their living room. Don’t even ask Joel about the squirrel as I’m pretty sure he has PTSD because of that evil beast. Nuts did not like anyone besides Joel’s dad and attacked Joel’s hand on numerous occasions. In high school we used to collect call Joel’s house from payphones and say the call was from “Squirrrrrrel.” And I will take the opportunity to remind Joel of the squirrel any chance I get because, well, it’s funny.
Sorry. Big digress right here but I hope the story is a little funny (it is when Joel tells it, because he flings his hands around demonstrating how the squirrel was attached to his fingers by its teeth…)
Moving on. As the Waltzing Weasel never disappoints, there was a live band who did not mind being harassed at all and actually kind of liked it.
Dawn had the very important task of holding the harmonica for the lead singer when he needed to play it. Here’s a video of the situation.
And then she got to play the tambourine.
Which I am pretty sure was a bit nostalgic for her, as in high school when we were in band, Dawn did not play an instrument so was elected the “Band Manager” and actually played the tambourine in a few of our songs so she could be included.
There was cake. A big cake. A big and delicious cake!
And are you thinking that the candle looks a little phallic? You may be right…you never know. But that is just Dawn for you! Such a minx!
Ol’ Evers had a good time.
As ol’ Evers always does. And picture attempt #5 here because I always seem to somehow get in front of Evan in pictures and then I look about 5 times bigger than him. But just my head.
It was a great night in celebration of The Dawnald. Good times all around.
Wait, sorry, that photo’s not from Friday. That photo’s from Grade 12. Here we go.
Still cheeky. Still not REALLY grown-ups, but that is okay!
Happy Birthday Dawnald! You’re a big girl now!
And there’s your future!