The Time I Was Trapped in a Cemetery

Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time I got trapped in a cemetery? Nope, because it was two nights ago.

I’ve been trying to keep up with the running thing lately, and one place I really enjoy running is the Mount Pleasant Cemetery. It’s beautiful, really well maintained, and there are 14km of paved trails in there. It’s a designated Natural Historic Site of Canada, and there are statues, fountains, botanical gardens, and the “forest of memories.” Some parts of it are truly stunning, and it is the final resting place of many well-known Canadians, including William Lyon Mackenzie King and the Eaton’s.

Eaton

Eaton family crypt

So running in there is very interesting. Nearly my entire family on my mom’s side is buried in there as well, including my grandma and her parents, and their parents.

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Mom, this picture is for you!

Which was a weird coincidence that I discovered after I started running in there.

Anyway, to access the cemetery you can enter from three pedestrian entrances, or six gates connected to Yonge St, Mount Pleasant, or Bayview. To keep the hooligans out at night, these are all closed and padlocked, and the rest of the cemetery is surrounded by a tall, steel fence. With spikes.

I have run in there many times over the past year, and during the summer they usually close the gates around 9pm.

On Monday I hit up the cemetery a bit after 8pm and all was going well running-wise. Well, besides being a sweaty mess because it was insanely hot. After about half an hour I passed one of the gates on the furthest side of the cemetery from where I entered and I noticed it was locked. I thought it was weird, but I don’t ever use that gate so I thought it may have been unpopular and closed early. I kept running to the gate that I was planning on exiting from, while noting that I hadn’t seen anyone in a while and that was odd because usually the cemetery is busy with walkers/runners and cyclists. That gate too was locked. I ran to the gate I came in from. Locked. Uh oh.

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“What am I gonna do?” – I am saying this to myself in the voice we use to talk to my friend Dawn’s dog.

This was not a good sign. As much as I love the cemetery, it was starting to get dark and I did not want to spend the night in there (um, ghosts?!). But I figured I would get out somehow. I didn’t start really worrying until I came across a young couple who told me that if all the gates were locked we were probably stuck in there.

Awesome. Around that time, an older man on a bike rode past and said he was going to go check out the main gate and report back. We (the couple and I) followed The Biker on foot, and by the time we got to the main gate (locked), he had already hopped the fence with his bike and was on the other side on the street.

The fence was steel and taller than me. I can barely do a pushup with my knees down, so pulling myself up and over it would have been an impossible task with my lack of upper body strength. However, there was a brick pillar on the main gate, and a spot for a foothold on that pillar halfway up the fence. The only problem was at that spot there were giant steel spikes (to prevent people from climbing).

fence

It looked like this

The Biker on the other side of the fence pointed to the spot on the fence beside the pillar and yelled “HERE! You have to climb here!” and I didn’t see another option, so I stepped onto the pillar and began to pull myself over the fence. And here is how that went:

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And then The Biker appeared in front of me.

Print

I protested.

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I actually said this.

Print

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So, I did.

Print

Print

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I managed to not impale myself or fall on my face, and I made it down safely. I don’t even think The Biker hurt his back too badly.

This all happened on a very busy street, so by this point a few people had gathered around (one other guy actually grabbed my hands at the last second to help me down), so that was not embarrassing at all. The couple was still inside the cemetery watching the whole thing, and when they saw my awkward fence jump, they decided to turn around and find somewhere easier to climb out. Kind of wish I stayed and went with them.

So what do you say to the complete stranger whose head you just wrapped your sweaty legs around? I didn’t know.

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Seemed appropriate. And then I walked home.

And that is the story of the time I got trapped in a cemetery.

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35 responses to “The Time I Was Trapped in a Cemetery

  1. I am so glad I found your blog! Your stories always entertain. If I lived in Canada I’d wanna be friends with you! Glad you made it safely out of the cemetery. Not a place I would want to be trapped in!

  2. Oh lawdy, this is one for the books! Amazing story & one of those “What are the chances I get stuck in a cemetery?” sort of things. We have one near our house & for this exact reason I shy away from it. Love you made some new friends about it though πŸ™‚

  3. You should complain to the city- they cant be locking the cemetery up early without warning! yikes

    Im glad no ghosts got you

  4. Awesome! Just as I pictured it.

  5. The silliest things happen to you! Too funny! Although not that funny if you had actually been stuck. That would just be terrifying and cold.

  6. Classic. Remind me to tell you the “thanks for peeing with me” story some time.

  7. Haha! This did NOT happen to you! I remember running through there all the time last summer and I had no idea they locked the gates…what?!? Crazy. Thank goodness there were other people in there with ya! Glad you were able to make it out ok, your pictures just killed me!

  8. This sounds like something that would happen to me, except I’m too lazy to go running. What a great story–I love your cartoons so much!

  9. LOL! Wow, and I thought only crazy things happened to me… one time when I was 16 my friends and I were in FL and we snuck into a fancy private hotel to use their beach. We had 2 boys we just met and their big cooler with us. We got caught and they ran to jump over this brick wall thing. I was like hell no I’ll just stay and be trapped. Said guys were like come on we will help you over the wall. I laughed and said I’ll kill you…then tahnkfully a car came and the gate opened. I took off and barely made it though before the gates closed. We left the cooler. I hate fences. I feel your pain. Glad you made it out alive!

    • See comment above! Thank you for saying that!
      Also, wtf fences. They are kind of the bane of my existence so I feel ya. That’s a good story also, and sounds like one of mine from around that age…

  10. bahahahahaha! Oh, I would have just camped out and stayed the night. I hate it when people pick me up! I’m all “I’m heavier than i look!” that’s too funny. I feel like i pictured it perfectly in my mind.

  11. HAHAHA! I LOVE your cartoon stories! Literally laughing out loud… by myself… in my cubicle.

  12. I don’t even know the way I ended up right here, however I thought this put up was once great. I don’t
    know who you’re however certainly you are going to a well-known blogger in case you are not already. Cheers!

  13. OMG your stories kill me! I love the pictures you drew to go with it too…makes it even funnier. Glad you got out but that had to be really awkward with the biker. Glad he wasn’t a perv or something! Sounds like there are a lot of nice people willing to help there! That is crummy about them locking up early, too. Now you never know what time to be out of there! Oh and that sounds like a great place to run otherwise. (Not that I run, but…. LOL)

  14. cathy sinclair

    Oh Linds!!! Only to you!! I remember a few escapes with you mother!! hehe Glad you were brave and wrapped your sweaty self around that biker guy. T
    hink of the stories he’s be tell’in. Thanks for the laugh. Love Cathy

  15. cathy sinclair

    Laughing out Loud!! We all know where the T belongs. Computers and I have a thing. πŸ™‚

  16. haha your stories are the best.

    I really want to hang out with you just so I can be in one. And to get to hang out with you, of course…

  17. nancy.mccartney@rogers.com

    This could only happen to you Lindsey!!! Glad you got out! It was hilarious to read though for all of us! Nice drawings…..

    Nancy

  18. Yay! I’ve missed your drawings. However that is a pretty sucky situation.

  19. Woo-hoo drawings! I’m glad you made it out without breaking your ankles.

  20. I believe you! Last night my friend and I were locked in Mount Pleasant, too!

    We had just finished an early dinner and we thought it would be nice to stroll through the cemetery to get to Mount Pleasant Road. We lost track of time by getting lost. When we found the gates, we were surprised that they were padlocked shut!

    We had to climb a fence to get out. Unfortunately, we were dressed for dinner, complete with dress shoes. Not easy to scale a fence without treds! With the help of a couple trees to hold on to, we made it out.

    I can’t imagine what a passerby would have thought, seeing two figures dressed in black with dirt on their hands scrambling out of the cemetery.

    Glad you made it out safely too. I wonder how many others have been locked in.

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