Alright, so…I have some news. Get ready for a wall of text and my serious pants.
I have been debating on whether or not I should bring this up on here. I haven’t said anything as of yet, and I like to be genuine when I blog so it’s making me have a hard time writing. Like with my breakup, which I didn’t mention on here for a couple months, I feel like I’m hiding something. Like there is a big elephant in the room.
I think if you’re a regular reader you may have figured out that something was up…though I have purposely been vague, so don’t feel bad if not. I have clearly been doing things during the day when it is usually work time, which I have blogged about, and I haven’t really mentioned anything related to work in a while.
This is because due to restructuring and my organization moving in a different direction, I have lost my job.
Ugh, that sounds terrible. I will explain. It’s not professional to get into all the details, obviously, but it’s not as bad as it sounds. My work did give me two months notice so it could have been a lot worse. I have known it was coming for nearly the entire summer, and have been trying to prepare for it (read: job hunting like mad).
It was not the greatest news when I found out, and that is kind of an understatement… I frequently raved on about how much I loved my job, and not just on my blog, but to my friends and people who know me as well. I was proud of my work, proud of and loved the organization, LOVED the people I worked with, and was overall happy and content. My entire work building was awesome. How many buildings have Office Boccia and Office Yoga? I don’t know of any others. We also have great vacation time, and many, many other perks.
In my almost five years of working there, I don’t think I have ever had one day where I legitimately dreaded going into work. It was my office family! After vacations I actually looked forward to going into work. I genuinely missed it. Working made me feel like myself. It wasn’t just a job to me. It was so intertwined with my life!
Not to mention that going into work every day was the only thing that kept me sane through my breakup, and I cannot even describe to you how thankful I am that this happened now and not before or during that time. That would have been tough and I probably would have had a legit meltdown.
So anyway, I was shocked and devastated when I heard the news. Of course I came home and cried. But just for an hour, because when I started to really think about it, being the naturally positive person I am, my brain started to go to the “well, why is this good?” area, instead of dwelling on how much it sucked. (I actually think my brain does this to protect myself, though no complaints about that because I think it’s a good thing and probably how I am able to stay positive when not so great things happen.)
Obviously it was not an ideal situation. But to be honest, it was time for me to move on. As much as I loved my job, there were certain aspects that I was getting to be done with. I felt like I had really gained all the experience I could from there, had nowhere else to grow in the position. I couldn’t move up in the organization (it’s very small, I couldn’t have moved around – my job was the only position there for me), and I was generally feeling like things were getting stagnant. I wasn’t quite as excited about the actual job as I once was, and I was starting to look at job sites for the first time and just kinda see what else was out there.
However, because of everything else previously mentioned, I don’t know what it would have taken for me to leave. I had also just gone through a pretty big ordeal in my personal life and didn’t want to do two huge life upheavals at the same time. My job and my relationship had both become part of my identity. So much that I probably needed a push to get out.
I had a really, really great talk about it with my boss the next day, and he said to me (and I will always remember these words): “Lindsey, you need to write, and you need to be creative,” and basically that he thought my current position was hindering me. And I went home and I thought about that, and I don’t think he is wrong. As much as I loved it, I had probably stayed about a year longer than I expected to when I originally started.
So anyway, I have just been job hunting like crazy all summer, and this is why I haven’t mentioned the job sitch. Potential employers could definitely find my blog by Googling me and I didn’t want to air all my dirty laundry.
But sadly (or maybe not sadly, because things have a way of working out), my resume hasn’t lured anyone in, even though I do have a TON of experience. It was slim pickins’ on the job front anyway, I don’t think summer is the best time to look since everyone is in leisure-mode. I only had one phone interview with a non-profit organization, and that didn’t end up panning out. It’s okay though, the job itself was not doing exactly what I want, so it was probably not meant to be.
You know what did lure in the opportunities? Somehow just me. I have made a lot of contacts in my building and genuinely like the people there. That “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know” saying has really been ringing true. So today I am starting a new contract with an organization called Sport4Ontario, which advocates and promotes amateur sport in Ontario (as the name would suggest). I am making a new website for them, as well as doing some extra graphic design and consultation work. And although it’s not a permanent gig or anything, I am really, really excited to be doing something new.
So, over the past six months I have broken up with my boyfriend, sold my house, moved on my own to the city for the very first time, lost my job, and am now starting a new opportunity. Oh, and I had a video that unexpectedly kind of went viral also. That is a lot of major life-changing events to happen in a very short time. My life doesn’t feel like my life anymore. So that is weird. But I do still feel like myself! And I like the direction things are going very much. I feel excited for my future. And despite all the weirdness, I probably had the best summer of my life.
So that is that. And you have no idea how much better I feel after writing about this. Just like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.