Five Random Stories

Bonjour!

I took a little blog break this week as I have been busy with packing stuff and haven’t been up to anything exciting. Unless you consider packing exciting, which I do not.

I take back everything I said before about packing. It sucks. I didn’t mind it at first because I was mainly packing big stuff and I was finding a bunch of random fun things I forgot I owned in the process. But now I have moved onto the little annoying things and it is not fun. Not fun at all.

I was sitting at my computer thinking “What can I talk about?!” when I remembered. Cinnamon from Eat, Pray, Tri passed on the One Lovely Blog Award to me the other day, where you are required to share seven random facts about yourself.

Lucky for me (and for you guys), I have no shortage of random facts about myself. But I think mine are more mini stories instead of “facts”. Either way, here we go!

Random fact #1 – My Makeshift Tree Fort

When I was growing up, the thing I wanted most in the world, besides a Barbie Power Wheels jeep (and everything else listed in that post), was a tree fort. I was so jealous of all my friends who had free forts, and although I had fun playing in theirs, I really wanted one of my own. I begged my Dad to build me one, but he never got around to it.

So when I was 12, I gave up on my Dad building me a tree fort, and I decided to take matters into my own hands. I roped my neighbour Gineen (who was also a member of my babysitting club) into helping me. We spent a couple weeks making a pretty sweet tree fort attached to the back of my shed. We were so proud of it, and we hung out in it every chance we got.

It needs to be said though, that it was the most dangerous fort of all time. It was about 10 feet off the ground, made out of scrap wood, and the main platform was an old flimsy ping-pong table board that I had found. It was definitely on a dangerous angle. I never should have even been allowed in that thing, but thankfully there was never an incident. And surprisingly, it never fell down. It remained there until we moved when I was 19.

Ironically, it was an actual legitimate tree fort, probably made by an adult, that I fell out of and broke my face.

Random Fact #2 – Girl Talk

My friends and I used to love playing the board game Girl Talk in elementary school.

girl-talk

If you are unfamiliar with the game, you had to draw task cards that had either a truth or a dare on them, and if you refused to do the task, or if you lied on a truth, you had to put a big red zit sticker on your face (unattractive).

One time we were playing, and I drew a dare card. The card’s task was to go to your neighbour’s house and ask to borrow a roll of toilet paper. I was soo embarrassed to do this, but I didn’t want to wear a zit sticker. So I convinced my friends to let me modify the task so that I could borrow something less embarrassing, like say, a quart of milk. They agreed.

So while my friends hid in the bushes and giggled, I knocked on my neighbour’s door (they were an elderly couple, and it needs to be noted that we were not close with these neighbours) and asked if I could borrow a quart of milk. I told them my mom needed it because we ran out. They were surprised, as we had never borrowed anything from them before, but let me have the milk, and I brought it home and put it in the fridge. And no zit sticker for me! Hurrah.

When my mom got home later that day, she saw the extra milk in the fridge and immediately asked where it came from. I told her the story, and for some reason that I couldn’t understand at the time, she was so angry that I had asked to borrow milk from the neighbours. She marched me back over there, and stood behind me while I again knocked on the door, explained it was a prank, apologized, and returned the milk. It was so embarrassing. I would have preferred the zit sticker.

Random Fact #3 – Elvis Stojko

When I was 13, my friend Melissa (the one who I accidentally blew across the lake with) and I were staying with my great aunt and uncle for a few days a couple hours away from us. They happened to live near the arena where all the Canadian figure skaters practiced, so my uncle, being awesome, decided to take us over to the arena to watch them.

It was my dream to see Kristi Yamaguchi (because I used to pretend I WAS her, if you remember).

Kristi is American though, and sadly wasn’t there. But Elvis Stojko sure was! He was sitting near Melissa and I in the arena, so we had really loud conversations about really cool topics so that he would overhear us and think we were awesome.

We ended up meeting him and getting his autograph on postcards of him. We were absolutely starstruck. We thought he was the most handsome male figure skater of all time (sorry Kurt Browning), and we both immediately developed HUGE crushes on him.

(source)

We were OBSESSED. So what if he was over 10 years older than us? Obviously one of us was going to marry him. That night we went through every newspaper we could find and cut out every article that had a picture of Elvis Stojko so that we could each make a collage of his face.

This was fun at first, but led to a huge fight over who got to keep the articles with the best pictures. Upon returning from my aunt and uncle’s, Melissa and I didn’t talk for a week. I was so pissed. It was MY uncle who took us to meet Elvis Stojko, how DARE she steal my newspaper articles about him.

We eventually made up and agreed we were being silly, and are fine now. And Elvis Stojko will always hold a special place in my heart.

Random Fact #4 – My Crappy Day

One time I was literally crapped on three times in the same day.

The first time, I was just standing in my friend Melissa’s yard when I felt something drop onto my head. I reached up and touched my hair. Bird crap.

Melissa’s mom was all “Getting crapped on by a bird is so lucky! You will have good luck for the rest of the day!”

Great! But I didn’t want to leave the crap there, obviously, so I biked home, washed my hair, changed clothes, biked back to Melissa’s house.

A couple hours later, we were still hanging out in her yard, when I felt something land on my shoulder. I reached over and felt it… Effing bird crap again! Melissa and her mom died laughing. And they were all “How did this happen twice in the same day? That must be REALLY lucky!”

So I biked home, changed clothes, biked back to Melissa’s house.

When I got back, we decided to go over to our friend Lisa’s. We wanted to jump on her trampoline, but the padding on the side had been taken off and was lying on the ground. We had just finished putting it back on when I smelled a terrible, terrible stench coming from myself.

I looked down at my T-shirt. Dog crap. Some stupid dog had crapped on the trampoline padding while it was on the ground, and once we put it back on the trampoline, I leaned in it. Dog crap was all over my shirt, marking the third time I got crap on me that day. Melissa and Lisa died laughing. Melissa was basically inconsolable. I have never seen her laugh that hard.

I biked back home, changed, and stayed in for the rest of the day. Good luck? Nice try. This day is forever known as “Lindsey’s Crappy Day.”

Random Fact #5 – Ray Romano

The summer after high school, the movie Welcome to Mooseport was filmed in our hometown. I grew up in an extremely small town, so this was the most exciting thing to happen there EVER. It was a huge event.

My friends and I stalked the set for days, and ended up meeting Ray Romano (a few times!), Gene Hackman, and Fred Savage. We had signs for all three of them, such as “Romano is my RAY of Sunshine”…

“Ray is a Hot Tamale”, “Fred, Let Me Be Your WINNIE!” (like from the Wonder Years, you know), and for Gene Hackman, “Gene is a Teen Dream” (he is not. He is old. We were lying.)

We got in the paper with that one…

Okay, so I am cheating on the survey and I am just going to do five facts. It’s getting a little lengthy up in here. But I hope you enjoyed my mini stories!

Here are the actual rules of the survey:

  • Link back to the blogger who nominated you
  • Paste the award image on your blog, anywhere
  • Share 7 facts about yourself (or 5, whatever)
  • Nominate some other blogs
  • Post a comment on these blogs letting them know you nominated them

And I am nominating the following blogs:

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26 responses to “Five Random Stories

  1. I had that game, too! Didn’t it have the little flower things that you would put together to see if you both answered the same to the question cards? It had hunk cards, also. I never thought the hunks were very cute thought because they were grown men and I was into Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
    THANK YOU for the award!!!!!

    • That is Girl Talk dream date edition! (or something like that) so this one was a bit different. Sounds a lot like Dream Phone.

      Oh girrrrl (um, my iPhone just autocorrected that to hitler, good thing I caught that) I thought JTT and I were going to get married! I sent him letters all the time, and one time I mailed him a GOLD. CHAIN. Don’t ask me why, I was weird…

      • You would have had to wrestle me for his hand in marriage. My room was a JTT collage. I never sent him a gold chain though, so you probably win. I bet he is sitting in his apartment somewhere, fingering that golden chain and wishing he had grown taller than 5 ft so he could still be a heart throb.

      • Also, I am almost disappointed that you caught the auto correct because that would be something I would not catch. I probably call my blog followers “hitler” on a regular basis.

  2. Ok so I just stumbled across your blog this morning and I spent the last 2 hours reading a bunch of your posts. You are absolutely hilarious!!! I laughed out loud all through these stories and all through your other illustrated stories! My coworkers are going to think I’m crazy!!!!! So glad I found you!

  3. Oh man am I glad I nominated you! No dissapointment here! These stories are FAB. All of them. I can’t even pick a favorite.

  4. blogginglily

    First of all, thank you for the honor. . .

    I sort of want all my facts to mirror yours. Every story you shared reminded me of something from childhood. Except the Elvis story. And the Ray story.

    Nearly every story you shared reminded me of something from my own childhood. At LEAST 60% of the stories you shared.

  5. Choose Carbs

    Oh Girl Talk. I remember playing that at my friend’s house. Our dares were way lame compared to yours. We would have taken that card and turned it into something like “knock on friend’s older brother’s door”.

    The most ridiculous game I played was Dream Phone. It was like Guess Who but you had to pick cards and call boys on a bright pink battery-powered phone. The objective was to learn all about your secret admirer’s favorite food or whatever and be the first to figure out which guy with shaggy 90s hair was in love with you. The worst part is that my cousin gave me this game for Christmas when I was 9 or 10 and the dudes in the game look like they’re in college.

  6. Bahahaha ohh lindz. I was hoping for “my phone call from Jonathan Taylor Thomas” to make the list. OR “When Spoon mooned us on his snowmobile and dropped his wallet” LOL keep it up!

  7. That is a pretty impressive crappy day. At least you were standing still. I was running the mile during P.E. class in 7th grade and a bird crapped on my head. There was no leaving school to take a shower. It was just a hand wipe and back to class. I did appreciate the bird’s ability to hit a moving target, though.

  8. blogginglily

    http://blogginglily.blogspot.com/p/liebster-award.html

    There! Scroll down to receive your “fun facts”

  9. Hey Lindz, loved your stories. I’m amazed at how great your memory is. I saved a clipping of that news article in my box of letters from high school, it makes me laugh whenever I see it. I am recommending that you share your J.T.T story as that one is a classic as well. Can’t wait to see you in Cow Town!!

  10. Aww Girl Talk! Good times!

  11. I totally forgot about the game Girl Talk! I used to have it as well. I also was in love with Elvis Stojko as well…I once saw him skate at Stars on Ice at the ACC.

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  14. I need to copy that newspaper article…I lost it! Please ensure that you have it the next timone we tangle nungas.

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