Hello everyone, and welcome to Random Search Terms, Volume: I don’t even know…possibly 5?
There are few things in life I enjoy more than looking at my stats to see what people have googled to land on my blog. Because people are weird, as I’m sure you have all discovered, and weird people google weird things. Well that’s not really fair…everyone googles weird things (though not me anymore, since I started blogging and discovered that any website owner can see your search terms. Gotta watch out for that.)
Sometimes my google terms make sense. I understand if people search for Happy or Hungry and end up here. I get that. And I know how people find me through search engines is directly impacted by what I write about, so the weirder I am, the weirder search terms will lead here. But I’ve had some real gems lately, and I would love to share them with you.
I’ve done this before, so if you’ve missed my past random search terms post, you can find them here:
- Can’t Find Happy or Hungry? No Worries
- Funny Search Terms: Halloween Edition
- Random Search Terms: Illustrated Edition
- Random Search Terms: Volume 3
1. “Pictures of unicorns, tacos and rainbows”
Well according to Klout, I was influential about unicorns for a while (I noticed recently that unicorns have now been replaced with Minnesota Twins, which I am pretty sure I have never mentioned, but I am not going to complain about it), and I did draw a cat riding a unicorn into the sunset in my post about how I draw my cartoons…but I am not sure why the tacos and rainbows led someone here, as I’m pretty sure I don’t talk about either very frequently (although I do love both a good taco and a good rainbow).
Well here, I drew you a picture.
If you were searching for that, you’re welcome.
2. “Oh nana what’s my name voldemort”
First of all, you are missing some punctuation. And second, I am pretty sure Voldemort does not sing Rhianna songs and insert his own name into them. Although we do know he likes Taio Cruz…
I can’t remember if I have mentioned this before, but “beardo” is probably one of my favourite words. Actually, Beardos are probably my favourite people.
If you are unsure as to what a Beardo is, here is a good example of one:
Beardo. Straight up.
4. “Gird your melon”
Gird your melon? No. Sorry. The correct phrase is gird your loins, and it basically means to secure your loins and prepare for battle.
I guess wearing a sports bra while running could be considered melon-girding, but I prefer loin girding, mainly because I really just like the word “loins”.
And if you are Harry Potter you can switch it up.
(That’s what I got when I googled “gird your loins”)
I am a big fan of saying gird your loins. It makes me laugh. I try to work it into conversation whenever possible. And I think you all should too.
5. “All the single kitties”
Well this is awkward… I don’t know how to tell you this, but my cats are not interested.
Sorry about that.
6. “Sexy camping”
I am not sure what’s going on with that, because as much as I love camping (and believe me I LOVE camping), when I go it is definitely not sexy. There is a lot of no showering for days and generally being dirty and smelling like campfires and bug spray. Unsexy, very unsexy.
And this year while camping I slipped and full-out fell in a mud puddle.
Not the sexiest.
I did find quite a sexy West Nile Virus protector this year in a camping store though…
I almost bought it just for that sexy man (who is also a bit of a Beardo…and possibly a caveman).
7. “bathroom mirror pics”
I win. Absolutely. You will never take a bathroom mirror picture better than this one, sorry.
It is not every day you can convince someone’s grandma to flip the bird to the mirror.
8. “how to be swag”
Oh. Well. You came to the right place, because I was taught by a pretty swag 13-year-old.
That is clearly the correct swag posture. Do that and you will be totally swag and will not look like a tool at all.
9. “Glasses party”
Again, right place!
Well glasses wedding, glasses party, same thing.
And my personal favourite search term this week:
10. “Sometimes I like to sit in the corner of my room and pretend I’m a carrot”
I don’t even know what to say to this. Whoever googled this is awesome. You can visit my blog any time. Please leave comments about your adventures whilst pretending to be a carrot, because truly I would love to hear all about it.
Oh, and lastly, my boss will be happy to know that if you google image “alligator arms”, his picture from this post is still the first one to pop up.
He likes it.
Be careful out there, you cheeky Googlers!